Truth or Dare HETALIA STYLE!
by Princess Twila
Summary: A truth or dare fanfiction involving the Hetalia characters, your brave authoress, and her friends!  R&R, and have fun!
1. Chapter 1

**Truth or Dare…HETALIA STYLE!**

**Everyone:** _"Marukaite chikyuu, Marukaite chikyuu, Marukaite chikyuu, Boku Hetalia!"_

**Faye:** Lilli, help me clean up the Chinese.

**Lilli:** Ok!

**Felicity, Francesca, and Livvy:** _"Nagagutsu de kanpai da! Hetalia!"_

**Livvy:** Oi, guys, check this out! You know how you always add "in bed" after the end of the message in a fortune cookie? This one totally wins! "It is always good to compromise…IN BED!"

**Everyone:** (lolling on the ground)

**Lilli:** (wipes away a tear of laughter) You know what would make this even better? If we could turn it into a Hetalia Truth or Dare fan fiction!

_*A sudden flash from the television, and sparking as the lights go out; all five girls scream; the girls are plunged into utter blackness*_

**Faye:** You ok, guys?

**Francesca:** Liv, get offa me!

**Lilli:** Ooof! (breath whooshes out of her as Francesca inadvertently shoves Livvy onto her)

**Faye:** Lills, you ok?

**Lilli:** Liv, get offa ME!

**Livvy:** I can't see where I am or where I'm going!

**Faye:** WILL YOU ALL JUST SHADDUP? Ok, now sound off!

**Francesca:** Here.

**Lilli:** Here!

**Livvy:** Here.

…

**Faye:** Where's Felicity?

_*The lights turn back on, and the girls find themselves in a field of sunflowers with no sign of Faye's dorm room in sight. The girls gasp and turn to see Felicity running towards them through the sunflowers*_

**Felicity:** RUUUUN! This is Russia's sunflower field!

**Everyone:** Ack! (begins running out of the field frantically)

**Lilli:** WAIT!

**Everyone:** (stops, panting) ?

**Lilli:** I wished that we could do a Hetalia Truth or Dare fan fiction…and here we are! (does a happy dance)

**Faye:** Lilli, what the hell are you talking about?

**Lilli:** We can control the fan fiction! I WISH THE AXIS AND ALLIED POWERS WOULD COME! Oh, and Canada and Switzerland and Liechtenstein and Austria and Hungary and Poland and Prussia and…oh what the heck, EVERYONE GET YO BUTTS HERE NOW!

_*Incoming of a bunch of nations from the sky*_

**Russia:** (creepy purple cloud expanding) My sunflowers…

**Nations:** (mixture of "What?"'s and "Where the hell am I?"'s and "FRANCE!")

**Livvy:** You forgot to mention Sealand…(starts to cry)

**Sealand:** I am a nation!

**England:** (disentangling himself from France who is trying to grope him) No you're not, you bloody git!

**Faye:** What the fuck, Lilli?

**Francesca:** (catching on) Lilli wished we could do a fan fiction…we got whisked off into Russia's sunflower field…and the nations appeared when Lilli called…We must be able to do whatever we want to as the writers of this fan fiction! Oi! I want some French pop to be playing!

_*French pop starts blasting from an unseen source*_

**France:** (perks up) The lady likes French?

**Francesca:** Heck, yeah!

**Felicity:** This is so freaking awesome!

**Livvy:** We can do a fan fiction! Yay!

**Lilli:** Hugs for everyone! (starts going around giving hugs to all the nations, whether they want it or not)

_*Lilli is about to hug Russia*_

**Faye:** LILLI NO DON'T DO THAT HE'S GONNA-

_*Lilli hugs Russia, who is ultimately confused that someone isn't scared of him; in the end, Lilli escapes unscathed; Lilli goes back to her hugging rounds*_

**Faye:** ?

**Felicity:** To the wonderful people reading this: remember to keep the truths and/or dares to a rating of T – we don't want to scar anyone for life – be sure to ACTUALLY review, try to keep the truths and/or dares to a maximum of 5, and have fun!

**Livvy:** Heck yeah!

_*Lilli hugs France, who starts groping her; Lilli breaks away and runs off, screaming; France follows in hot pursuit*_

**Faye:** NOT MY SISTER YOU FUCKING FRENCH BASTARD! (runs after them)

**Everyone:** (runs after to keep the Frenchman away from the innocent Lilli)

* * *

><p>AN: Remember to review, peeps! If you have any questions, refer to Felicity's last comment. And be sure to have fun!


	2. Chapter 2

_*France has finally been subdued and is currently tied up and being poked alternately by America and England and Italy, who was never brave enough to poke France before when he wasn't tied up. Lilli is shaking while Faye comforts her. Livvy is talking animatedly to Sealand, Francesca is contentedly listening to French pop that is still coming from an unseen source, Felicity and Poland are discussing fashions, Russia is trying to straighten up the sunflowers that were trampled during their chase after France, and the other nations are lounging around*_

**Lilli:** I didn't even think before I hugged him; I'm just a huggy person!

**Faye:** I know you are, but what have I told you before about hugging strangers?

**Lilli:** (sniffles) It's always been 'Don't talk to strangers', not 'Don't hug strangers'. Besides, it's France; how strange can he get?

**America and England:** (Looking up from their poking France) Very.

_*A sudden blast of air knocks them all back on their haunches. The source is an angry red letter that has appeared out of nowhere, flattening more of Russia's sunflowers*_

**Russia:** MY SUNFLOWERS! (resumes fuming)

**Felicity:** If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was a Howler…but this is a Hetalia Truth or Dare fan fiction, not a Harry Potter Truth or Dare fan fiction.

**Faye:** Not only that, but it totally appeared the way that things are transported in the Eragon books.

**Francesca:** (gets up and goes over to the letter, which is beginning to smoke) Um…this _is_ a Howler.

**Livvy:** QUICK! OPEN IT!

*_Francesca rips open the letter right before it explodes; everyone closes their eyes in trepidation as they wait for the letter to start screaming. When nothing does happen, they slowly stop wincing and start looking curiously at it*_

**Francesca:** I guess that I get to read it instead of it screami-

_*The Howler finally begins yelling out its message; everyone jumps*_

**Howler:** THIS IS A REVIEW FROM LIVVYKITTY, WHO WILL ALSO BE HELPING TO HOST THIS FAN FICTION! SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER! (dissolves into a puff of smoke)

**England:** Who?

_*Suddenly a girl crash-lands into the ground while trying to land gracefully from her flight. She has big bushy eyebrows, blue eyes, wings, and a Nantucket strand*_

**Livvykitty:** OW! BLOODY HELL, THAT HUUUURT! I got dares! (gives an ecstatic grin) But first of all, I dare the hosts to let me help host!

**Livvy:** Sounds good!

**Felicity:** How many hosts does a talk show - er, I mean, fan fiction - normally have?

**Francesca:** I guess it can have however many we want…but I think we should put a cap on six. Any more would just get really confusing, especially if the hosts have similar names to us.

**Faye:** Alright, maximum six hosts it is!

**Lilli:** Is that it for us?

**Livvykitty:** Yup! And now for South Italy!

**S. Italy:** (looks up from eating a tomato) What do you want, you insane piece of shit?

_*Faye and Switzerland cover Lilli's and Liechtenstein's ears, respectively*_

**Francesca:** WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!

**Livvykitty:** (completely unperturbed) Romano, you have to go to an ATM, get money, and when it comes out, scream "I WON! I WON!"

**S. Italy:** What the fuck kind of a dare is that?

_*Faye and Switzerland go back to covering their siblings' ears*_

**Francesca:** DID I NOT JUST TELL YOU TO WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE?

**Livvy:** I think we're going to have to get Lilli and Liechtenstein some earmuffs if he's going to be a regular guest.

**Felicity:** Get going, Romano!

**Livvykitty:** Yup! DO ET!

*_Romano sulkily walks over to an ATM, which has randomly appeared and flattened more of Russia's sunflowers, who is looking on murderously. Romano kicks the machine, which starts spitting out euros straight into his face*_

**S. Italy:** (spluttering between facefuls of money) I WON! I WON!

**Lilli:** (laughing her butt off) I freaking love slapstick.

**Livvykitty:** Next up is everyone! You have to guess who my adoptive parents are!

**Faye:** Big, bushy eyebrows…

**Felicity:** Wings…

**Francesca:** Blue eyes…

**Livvy:** Blonde hair…

**Lilli:** A little stick-up strand of hair on the forehead…

**Nations:** Who?

_*Livvykitty facepalms while the other girls snicker*_

**Faye:** HER PARENTS ARE ENGLAND AND AMERICA!

**America:** But-but-that would imply that Iggy and I are a thing!

**England:** My point exactly, you prats!

**Lilli:** But England, it's common knowledge that you and America ARE a thing! Why try and hide it? You two are the cutest thing since Bambi! You two were made for each other! (stares off into space dreamily)

**Faye:** …I trained you waaaaay too well in the ways of a USUK fangirl.

**England:** Better USUK than FrUK. God above, I hate that pairing.

**Italy:** But if Signora Livvykitty looks like England and America, how is she their adoptive daughter?

**Livvykitty:** Daddy taught me magic! I made an appearance-changing potion! And _voila!_ (does a twirl; suddenly jumps away, screaming) AHHHH! FROG! GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY! (smacks away France's hand, who was trying to grope her) DADDY! (hides behind America)

**America:** THE HERO HAS ARRIVED! (rolls up the sleeves of his bomber jacket and proceeds to punch France's lights out)

**Francesca:** Oi! Fatso! Keep Mr. Francy-Pants alive and in one piece so he can do further truths and dares!

_*America sulks and stops beating up on France*_

**Felicity:** Is that it?

**Livvy:** Nope, Livvykitty still has one more! For Russia!

_*Russia looks up from trying to fix his sunflowers*_

**Livvykitty:** Sooo…you heard of Vocaloid? Well, you get to do the Matryoshka dance. Now. Hehe. (gives a silly grin)

**Russia:** I get to dance, da? And after everyone sees me dance, all will want to become one with Mother Russia.

**Everyone:** …

_*Russia proceeds to begin dancing as the music begins blasting from an unseen source. The sunflowers seem to wave with him as he bops back and forth, waving his hands*_

**Lilli:** That is probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen!

**Faye:** Lilli, don't say that, he's going to hex you to next year!

**Livvy:** Yeah, why aren't you afraid of him?

**Lilli:** (shrugs) He just needs a hug and some actual love in his life, not like the love Belarus has to offer, that creeper.

**Belarus:** (whips out a knife) You were saying?...

**Lilli:** (stands up) BELARUS YOU'RE A…Faye, help me out here.

**Faye:** Oh, right!

**Lilli:** BELARUS YOU'RE A –

**Faye:** - FUCKING –

**Lilli:** CREEPER AND YOU NEED TO STOP –

**Faye:** - FUCKING –

**Lilli:** HITTING ON YOUR BROTHER!

**Russia:** (finished his dance; Livvykitty claps ecstatically) I agree.

**Belarus:** (twitches) I _will_ one day become one with Mother Russia. Just you wait.

_*Everyone shudders*_

**Lilli:** HEY YOU GUYS! GUESS WHAT?

**Faye, Felicity, Livvy, and Francesca:** What?

**Lilli:** WE TOTALLY JUST DID OUR FIRST TRUTH-OR-DARE FAN FICTION CHAPTER _EVER_!

**Felicity:** Does that mean we get to make Italy make dinner for us?

**Livvy:** And turn off this _French pop_ music? (glares pointedly at Francesca)

**Francesca:** And get an iPod for me so I can listen to French pop all day without you lot complaining?

**Livvykitty:** And get Russia to dance some more without it being an actual reviewed dare?

**Faye:** (smacks away France's hand, which was creeping towards her and Lilli) And put France on a leash? He was about to grope either me or Lilli just now.

**England:** How about we break the Frog's hands so he can't do anything with them? (starts getting ideas; so does America)

**Germany:** Mein gott, America is _thinking_.

**Lilli:** That _definitely_ means it's time for the chapter to end; if America keeps thinking, we might all just explode.

**Livvykitty:** Remember, Hetalia does not belong to any of us because we are not associated with Hidekazu Himaruya or Funimation. BE SURE TO REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

_*Everyone is still waiting nervously for the world to explode around them as America keeps thinking and rattling off ideas about what they could do to France*_

**America:** Or, you know, we could totally tie him up, summon a lake or something, and chuck him in the lake! Or, even better, we could chop off his hands! Wait, that's practically the same thing as breaking his hands…

**Germany:** (rubbing his temples) Could someone _please_ shut him up? He's even more annoying than Italy at the moment.

**Lilli:** (taps America on the shoulder) America, you shouldn't want to do such things to another person. It's mean. Even if it is France…(glares pointedly at France for the multiple occasions that he's tried to grope people; America has the grace to shut up)

**Livvykitty**:(comes out from hiding behind England) Is he done thinking, Dad?

**England:** (pats her on the head) I do believe so.

**Livvy:** Oh, by the way guys, I found a way to control the Howlers so that we can summon them at our own leisure and so that they don't scare the crap out of us when they arrive! I just haven't figured out yet how to not make them a Howler…

**Francesca:** (listening to French pop on an iPod) You might want to figure that out eventually, Livvy…

**Livvy:** Probably…but in the meantime I'll summon our next review! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THIS REVIEW IS FROM STARDUST98 WHO IS GOING TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE FOR THIS CHAPTER! (explodes in a cloud of dust and, in its place, stands a coughing Stardust98)

**Faye:** Here…(hands Stardust98 a tissue to wipe the ash from her face)

**Stardust98:** Thanks. (gives a sudden squeal and runs over to England, tripping him so that he falls into America's arms; Stardust98, Faye, Lilli, Hungary, Japan, Livvykitty, Livvy, Francesca, and Felicity to all start nosebleeding) I've got both truths and dares people! We get to do the truths first! America!

**America:** 'Sup?

**Stardust:** Whaddya think of Justin Bieber?

**America:** Oh, don't even get me started on him! I feel like it's the Civil War all over again with the schizophrenic feelings and all! My people are so divided about him, with half of them practically throwing themselves at his feet and the other – if I may be so bold as to say _sensible_ – half shuns him like the plague. Even so, he somehow has a bigger fan base than I do, and he's nowhere near as good-looking! Plus he still has yet to hit puberty…what? (everyone is goggling at him)

**Felicity:** (eyebrows nearly getting pushed off of her forehead, they're so high up) Okaaaaay…

**Stardust98:** CHANGE OF TOPIC! Canada! (runs over and hugs him)

**Canada:** (whispers) That's more attention in about five seconds than I've had in the past year.

_*All the girls start feeling really bad for him and start sniffling*_

**Stardust98:** (wipes away a tear) Don't worry! I remember you! (back to normal) So what's up with the Canadian bacon? Isn't it just ham?

**Canada:** (still whispering) 'Canadian bacon' is actually an American name for back bacon or smoked ham; if you want to know why my brother thought of such a ridiculous name, you'll have to ask him.

**Francesca:** Wow. I did not know that.

**Stardust98:** And the last truth is for Prussia!

**Prussia:** (waltzing to the front) THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS ME HAS ARRIVED!

**Stardust98:** So…who do you like like? (gives a little squeal)

**Prussia:** Pardon?

**Stardust98:** You know, who do you like like? As in, who are you _in love_ with? (squeals again)

**Prussia:** The awesome me cannot be matched in awesomeness by any other person!...(trails off as a certain two nations glare venomously at him) Then again, maybe there are a couple of people who come close in awesomeness so that I can like them…

**Stardust98:** WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO?

**Prussia:** Let's just go with 'I like the other two people involved in the Frying Pangle pairing,' shall we? (winks at said two nations; all the girls in the field start squeeing)

**Livvykitty:** Don't know it, look it up! Thank you, HetaliaWiki!

**Stardust98:** And now for some dares! Romano?

**S. Italy:** Don't you people get fucking tired of making me do all this shit?

**Stardust98:** Wow, I wasn't a moment too soon with this dare…You aren't allowed to cuss for an entire chapter!

**S. Italy:** (eyes bugging out) No way, bitch! There isn't any way you're going to make me do _anything_!

**Faye:** Shut up, Romano, or we'll get our fabulous sixth hostess here, Livvykitty, to kick your ass from here to next year. (Livvykitty grins evilly)

**S. Italy:** How come you get to cuss but I don't?

**Francesca:** She's a hostess; she can do whatever she wants to.

**Stardust98:** And now for my last dare! France, you get to give ANY three nations of your choice 'The Talk'. Ooh, ooh, and one of them can be America! (starts giggling hysterically)

**England:** Absolutely not! He is not corrupting America!

**France:** Oh hon hon hon…In which case, I am definitely giving America 'The Talk'!

**America:** (completely oblivious) What talk?

**England:** (rambling anxiously) America, don't listen to him, just please punch him, or even better, how about you carry out some of those ideas you came up with earlier about torturing France or breaking his hands or chucking him in a lake or ANYTHING!

**France:** I also choose to give this talk to Italy and Lie- (cuts off when he sees Switzerland pointing a gun at him)…and…and Canada.

**England:** (going ballistic) OH NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU BLOODY FROG, IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO CORRUPT AMERICA, BUT THERE IS NO WAY IN BLOODY HELL THAT YOU'RE CORRUPTING CANADA AS WELL!

**Livvykitty:** It's a dare, Daddy; France has to do the dare, and now so do America, Italy, and Canada. (England is practically apoplectic)

**France:** Come along, mes chers petits…

_*France leads America, Italy, and Canada off to a part of the sunflower field farther away from the other nations and the hostesses. He sits the other three down on the ground and proceeds to explain with animated gestures the wonderful world of puberty and the birds and bees. Italy can be seen gaping open-mouthed at France, but it is very clear – even from far away – that he is only thinking about pasta and that none of France's words are sticking. Canada is seen squeezing Kumajiro tighter and tighter as he blushes redder and redder. America is also gaping open-mouthed at France, but he looks totally horrified*_

**England:** (has finally had enough) FROG YOU'VE GONE BLOODY FAR ENOUGH THIS TIME! (dashes over to the group and proceeds to chase France over the rest of the field, screaming expletives and trying to use one of his shoes that he has removed to beat France; America, Italy, and Canada return to the rest of the nations; Stardust98 gives Canada a comforting hug)

**Germany:** (checks Italy over) Italy, you are okay, ja?

**Italy:** Germany, do we have any pasta? (Germany facepalms)

**Livvykitty:** Daddy? You okay? (America is positively flabbergasted; for once he is mute)

**Lilli:** Thank you so much, Stardust98, for reviewing! Stop by again soon! (Stardust98 smiles cheerily, waving, before she disappears in a flash of blue light; Canada almost cries as the one person who actually remembered him leaves him)

**Francesca:** Aw, now she _definitely_ has to come back! I can't stand seeing Canada cry!

**Felicity:** How about we summon our next Howler!

**Livvy:** (looks up from a book which she is trying to use to help her figure out how to change the reviews from being Howlers) Sounds good! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** LIVVYKITTY WILL NOW DO HER – (is abruptly cut off as Livvykitty shoots it)

**Livvykitty:** GOD DAMNIT, YOU GIVE ME A HEADACHE! (twirls gun and blows the tip) How'd he even get here in the first place? Anyway, dares! For our hostess Lilli!

**Lilli:** Me?

**Livvykitty:** Yep, you! You have the exact human name as Liechtenstein and you're innocent too! Are you like a version of Liechtenstein from another dimension?

**Lilli:** Um…I don't think so? I just know that my name is Lilli, and I _did_ actually get recommended to cosplay Liechtenstein because we're both innocent and all, but I don't _think_ I'm a Liechtenstein from another dimension…

**Faye:** There's only one way to test this. SWITZERLAND!

**Switzerland:** What?

**Faye:** I need you to give Liechtenstein and Lilli a talk about defense against dangerous wild animals.

**Switzerland:** Fine. But I'll need a chalkboard and chalk.

**Livvykitty:** Easier done than said! (snaps fingers and a chalkboard and chalk appears, flattening more of Russia's sunflowers; Russia goes practically emo)

**Switzerland:** (drawing pictures of squirrels and rabbits and raccoons and foxes) Alright, girls, you need to be on your guard for these dangerous wild anima-

**Lilli:** OMG THEY'RE SO CUTE!

**Liechtenstein:** Big brother, would you mind drawing some more little animals so that we can look at them later? (Switzerland is utterly confused)

**Faye:** And there is your answer, Livvykitty.

**Livvykitty:** (looking at Lilli and Liechtenstein oddly) Okaaay…next one! China! Are you or are you not a girl? If not…THE ROCHU I'VE READ IS A LIE!

**China:** If I had a yen for every time someone asked me if I was a girl…no, I am a man. Yes, the Rochu you've read is wrong. Men are allowed to have long hair as well.

**Livvykitty:** Stupid Rochu…FRANCE! (France and England have returned from their chase, utterly tired…except in France's case, he's never too tired to go for a good groping) GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM ME! (pulls out multiple kunais) COME ANY CLOSER AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING FROG! (France pouts and goes off)

**England:** AND NOW YOU'RE GOING FOR MY ADOPTIVE DAUGHTER? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED NEAR ANY OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS FOR THE REST OF YOUR SORRY LIFE! (resumes chasing France, who resumes running away from him)

**Livvykitty:** I totally could've handled that, what with the kunais and all, but now I can move on to my next dare while Dad takes care of France. YO RUSSIA! (grabs Russia's scarf and jumps onto his back, setting the field of sunflowers afire) ONWARDS, CREEPER!

_*The nations and hostesses summon water to put out the fire around them as Russia completely freaks out; his purple cloud has expanded to envelop everyone and is crackling with menacing lightning as Russia blindly runs about the field gasping curses and hexes and anything else that comes into his head; Livvykitty is whooping and hollering with her newly summoned cowboy hat as Russia tramples all about the field, which is now only smoldering*_

**Lilli:** Poor guy. Maybe we should summon another field of sunflowers for him so he has at least a little bit of happiness…

**Felicity:** But, he's, like, a total creeper!

**Lilli:** Yeah, but even he deserves to be happy.

**Livvykitty:** (has fallen off of Russia's back and returns, stumbling, to the others) And now for my final dare! Korea! Get yo butt ova heeya!

**Korea:** You called? (obviously looking at her chest)

**Livvykitty:** (smacks him upside the head) I dare you to say that _nothing_ originated from Korea. No wait, scratch that – I dare you to say that _STUPIDITY_ originated from Korea! Ooh, a caps lock and an italicization!

**Korea:** (mumbles) Stupdiuhrigndfrumkra.

**Livvykitty:** Sorry, can't hear ya. (cups hand around ear dramatically; Korea shakes his head, refusing to repeat anything…that is, until one of Livvykitty's kunais is pointed at his head)

**Korea:** I SAID, STUPIDITY ORIGINATED FROM KOREA!

**Livvykitty:** Much better! All righty, thanks for letting me review! Livvy, time for the next Howler! And don't worry, I won't shoot this one.

**Livvy:** (still researching; doesn't even look up from her book, but merely snaps her fingers)

**Howler:** IT IS NOW TIME FOR ITALY LOVER99 TO DO HER TRUTHS AND DARES! (explodes into a fiery inferno; everyone expects to see Italy Lover99 standing in the ash like Stardust98 was, but there is no sign of Italy Lover99)

**Felicity:** …Maybe she got lost?

_*Suddenly, Italy Lover99 falls from the sky, nearly crash-landing. Italy Lover99 immediately squeals and glomps Italy, who "ve"'s happily*_

**Italy Lover99:** HI GUYS! (still hasn't let go of Italy) CHINA! CHINA! CHINAAAAA!...Hi.

**China:** …Hi?

**Italy Lover99:** Poland! I, like, dare you to give me your pony. Now.

**Poland:** Like, everyone wants one of my ponies! 'Cause they're so, like, _freaking amazing._ (gives Italy Lover99 a beautiful dapple gray Welsh pony; Italy Lover99 squeals in delight)

**Italy Lover99:** (grabs one of Livvykitty's kunais and lops off France's head) TAKE THAT, YOU FRENCH PERVERT! Ok, he can have his head back now. (snaps fingers and France is healed and healthy) Now, GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF! (France cries as he saunters off to jump off a cliff; America and England follow to make sure he does so)

**Lilli:** I never liked France 'cause I ship USUK, but now even _I_ am feeling sorry for him…

**Italy Lover99:** Now for my last dare! Hostesses! You have to kiss your Hetalia crush! (all six girls start blushing as several of the nations start nosebleeding) Who's up first?

**Livvykitty:** I'LL GO! (glomps Japan and kisses him full on the mouth; Japan squeaks, looking like he'll need therapy afterwards)

**Francesca:** Me next! (grabs Germany by his lapels and pulls him in for a kiss; both close their eyes before breaking apart, blushing slightly; Italy goes and cries on Italy Lover99's shoulder)

**Felicity:** Oh Lithuania? (smiles sweetly before glomping Lithuania much the same way Livvykitty glomped Japan and kisses him)

**Livvy:** (looks up from her book) I'd kiss mine right now but he's gone at the moment.

**Italy Lover99:** Who is it?

**Livvy:** America.

**Lilli:** Hey, he's mine, too!

**Faye:** And mine…along with England.

**Italy Lover99:** Looks like we'll have to bring them back! (snaps fingers and America and England appear)

**America:** Aw, not cool, man! France was _this close_ to stepping off the edge! Now we'll never know if he did it!

**Italy Lover99:** We have more pressing issues at the moment! America, you have three girls waiting to kiss you, and England, you have one, too!

**America:** (snickers) Looks like the girls still like 'em young, old man! (gets whacked on the head by England) Ow!

**England:** Just get it over with, you bloody git!

**America:** (dramatically bends Livvy over backwards and kisses her) Man, this is just like coming home from a war! (grabs Faye and also dips her for a kiss) All the girls lined up to kiss you 'cause they missed you…(takes Lilli lastly and dips her to kiss her chastely)

**England:** You utter and complete prat, that's not how you kiss a girl! _This_ is how you kiss a girl! (takes Faye by the hand, spins her a few times before finally dipping her and kissing her; everyone nosebleeds as the kiss goes on and on; finally draws her back upright and they break apart, blushing slightly) _That_ is how you kiss a girl, America.

**America:** You can't blame me for being a little out of practice, I haven't kissed a girl since we started going out! Ow! (gets smacked on the head again by England)

**England:** YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST ADMITTED TO THE PUBLIC THAT WE HAVE A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP! (begins chasing America much the same way he was chasing France earlier)

**Livvykitty:** England sure is doing a lot of chasing lately, isn't he?

**Felicity:** Alright, thanks for the dares, Italy Lover99! We'll see you arou…(trails off as she sees Italy Lover99 pointing a crowbar at her) Then again, I'm sure no one would mind you sticking around and keeping Italy company!

**Lilli:** Well, that's all for now, folks! Remember to review so we can keep up with our shenanigans!

**Livvykitty:** _Now_ can we dare Russia to dance some more?


	4. Chapter 4

_*Livvykitty is still trying to convince everyone to just let Russia dance without it having to be a dare from a review; France has finally returned, and out of compassion, Lilli fixed up his broken bones; all the same, France is once again tied up as he tried to grope her after she healed him, and America and England are back to poking him; Italy Lover99 and Italy have whipped up some pasta for everyone to eat since they're all getting really hungry*_

**Felicity:** Hey Livvy, did you get that Howler mechanism working yet?

**Livvy:** (mechanically twirling her pasta on her fork)…nope…not yet…(turns the page of yet another book)

**Francesca:** Bummer. Well, we might as well do our next dare! (snaps fingers; nothing happens)

**Faye:** Why didn't anything happen?

**Livvy:** (still turning pages)…It only works if I do it…do you want me to bring out the next one?

**Everyone:** Yes! (Livvy snaps her fingers; still hasn't yet looked up from her book)

**Howler:** MAKE WAY FOR THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS ABOUT TO DESCEND! (promptly explodes)

**Prussia:** But I'm already here!

**New Person:** Not you, silly! It's me, Nilla Mew Mew! The reviewer! Just call me Nilla!

**Felicity:** How many awesome people does that make now? Let's see…we have America, Prussia, Denmark – don't quite know why – and now Nilla. Any more awesomeness and we'll suffocate from the egos.

**Nilla:** Ciao, fratelli, no vi ho visto voi in eterno! (kisses Italy and S. Italy on the cheeks) Avere voi mancato mi? (*translation for those of us who don't speak one whit of Italian: Hello, brothers, I haven't seen you in forever! Have you missed me?)

**Faye:** Whoa, wait a second, you're related?

**Francesca:** How could you tell what she said?

**Faye:** (smug grin) I speak Italian, too.

**Lilli:** Well, she does look like a fem!Italy…

**Nilla:** I'm Italy's twin sister, so Romano is also my older brother! And fratelli, you have to answer my truth!

**Felicity:** Wait, she did a dare? Then again, I wouldn't have understood it since it was in Italian…

**Italy:** (totally oblivious as usual) Si, I love pasta!

**Germany:** You dummkopf, she asked you if you and Romano missed her.

**Livvykitty:** (mischievous grin) Looks like Italy's starting to rub off on the German…

**Italy:** Si, sorella, I missed you!

**S. Italy:** I missed you about as much as I ever miss Feliciano here; take it as you will.

**Lilli:** And we all know that he really does miss Italy even though he never admits it…

**S. Italy:** You stupid bitch! I don't ever miss him! There's no way I could!

**Faye:** Don't you call my sister a bitch, you bastard!

**S. Italy:** YOU shut up, bitch!

**Faye:** Oh no you didn't! You did _not_ just go there! (begins chasing him as both scream at each other in a mixture of English and Italian)

**Spain:** NOOO! Not my Lovi! (begins chasing after Faye)

**Felicity:** Can we _please_ dare Romano not to cuss for another chapter? Pretty please?

**Livvykitty:** (pulls out her kunais) EVERYONE SHUUUUUUUUUUT UP!

_*silence*_

**Livvykitty:** Thank you. Stage is all yours, Nilla!

**Nilla:** Thanks! Now for my dares! England! You are absolutely my number one favorite character! But you're taken by America –

**Lilli and Faye:** GO USUK! (England and America both facepalm)

**Nilla:** - so I just want a hug! (hugs England, who awkwardly hugs her back since his arms are pinned to his sides by Nilla's hug; Nilla finally lets go with a big smile as England smiles back)

**England:** 'The girls still like 'em young', eh, America? (America scowls at him)

**Nilla:** Thanks England! Switzerland!...ok, technically you and Iggy are tied for first.

_*Before Switzerland can react, Nilla wraps her arms around his neck and plants a kiss right smack on his lips; Switzerland flails and is so flustered that he doesn't even pull out his gun*_

**Liechtenstein:** Big brother, what was that? (Switzerland is furiously red and too tongue-tied to answer her)

**Nilla:** Now for France! J'apprends le français, mais je n'ai toujours pas comme vous. (*translation for those of us who don't speak French, either: I'm learning French, but I still don't like you) (Nilla whips out a shotgun that she swiped off of Switzerland when she kissed him) Try anything from me and you'll have a bullet in your brain before you are three feet from my chest!

**France:** (dying slowly inside) No one has any appreciation for me…

**Nilla:** (ignoring France) Liechtenstein! I dare you to have a picnic with me! Oh, and your big brother can come, too!

**Liechtenstein:** Okay! But only if Big brother says we have enough money for a picnic…(looks up at Switzerland with irresistible green eyes, and he caves; the three of grab a basket full of food and a blanket and prepare to head farther off to have their picnic)

**Nilla:** (as she skips off, her arms linked with Liechtenstein and Switzerland, the former who looks quite happy and the latter who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else) That's all for now! Amore voi e addio! (*translation: Love you and goodbye!)

**Everyone:** Bye, Nilla!

**Livvykitty:** Livvy, next Howler! (Livvy absentmindedly snaps her fingers)

**Howler:** THIS NEXT SET OF DARES IS FROM SNAKEYESLOVER2 WHO ALSO WANTS TO BE A HOSTESS! (explodes; once again, no sign of a new reviewer in the ashes of the Howler)

**Disembodied Voice:** You can call me Snakey for starters. (rest of body appears, kind of like the Cheshire Cat) Can I pleeeease be a hostess?

**Lilli:** Honestly, we'd really love to have you host, but we can't have too many people hosting. Six seems to be a maximum…tell you what, you can stay for the rest of the chapter, though!

**Snakey:** (slightly hurt) I guess that'll work…but anyways! First I have a gift for Russia! (snaps fingers and a large bundle of sunflowers appears in Snakey's hand) People keep hurting your flowers, so here's some more.

**Russia:** (stunned that someone is giving him a gift)…Does this mean you want to become one with Mother Russia?

**Snakey:** If it means getting a kiss, then sure!

_*Russia proceeds to kiss Snakey, smiling smugly when they pull away as if he has already sucked away part of her soul; Snakey looks slightly dazed*_

**Snakey:** Next dare! Canada! (Canada jumps) I see you. Make me some pancakes! (hugs Canada as Russia looks on jealously)

**Canada:** (whispers) Okay. (Snakey waits for a few minutes and then has a steaming stack of pancakes glistening with maple syrup waiting to be eaten)

**Snakey:** Ok, Italy brothers! I want to see you guys go Mafia!

_*S. Italy's and Italy's uniforms disappear, and both nations are suddenly dressed in suits; S. Italy's suit is black with grey pinstripes, a claret-colored tie, and a red carnation on his lapel; Italy is in a slate-colored suit with a royal blue tie and a white carnation; both nations have their hair slicked back under fedoras, even though their ahoges have not been tamed; both nations also have on dark shades*_

**S. Italy:** I have to say that I love this job; it just never gets old.

**Italy:** Ve, fratello. (pulls out a cigar)

**Snakey:** (eyes bugging out)…uh…this is totally awesome! Ok, if I need someone assassinated, can I call on you guys?

**S. Italy:** Si. For a price, of course…

**Snakey:** Sounds good! Okay, France, you have to watch the episode of Deadliest Warrior where William Wallace faces off against Joan of Arc!

**England:** I remember her. Actually, I remember both of them. Right pain in the arse, they both were.

**France:** (glaring venomously at England) Jeanne d'Arc was a jewel among women, and not just for her tactical skills. I doubt that any Englishwoman could ever live up to her name, especially a woman of lowly birth as she was. Do not dare insult her again. (storms off to watch the episode)

**Everyone:** …

**Snakey:** Okaaaay…meanwhile, we all have to watch the episode of Deadliest Warriors where it's the Viet Cong against the Nazi Waffen SS.

**Germany:** If only they had not been utilized in an anti-Semitic fashion; they were rather effective. I only realize this now that they're gone; I didn't pay much attention to them during the Nazi regime. World War II was rather difficult for me, what with my conflicts with my boss and all…

**Lilli:** It's okay, Ludwig; we're not judging you to be a Nazi. (hugs him)

**Poland:** Imagine being ruled by the SS men, though…like, that was a total nightmare.

**Germany:** Be quiet, Poland.

**Felicity:** MOVING ON! Let's watch this episode!

_*A television pops up, and everyone proceeds to watch the episode, commenting throughout*_

**America:** Man, I remember all of those! The Bouncing Betty's were a real pain in the ass until we learned to expect them. And the punji stakes! Talk about guerilla warfare!

**England:** America, at the moment, YOU'RE being a real pain in the ass since you won't shut up.

_*France returns from watching his episode, slightly teary*_

**France:** Angleterre, have I ever mentioned how much of a bastard you are for killing the finest woman ever?

**England:** Frog, does it look like I care? (France's face contorts, and he looks ready to strangle England)

**Faye:** OKAY! These episodes are just getting everyone wound up! I mean, good dare and all, but the tension went from about here to HERE after watching them!

**Francesca:** Is that all, Snakey?

**Snakey:** Yep! I know I asked already, but can I host anyways?

**Felicity:** We really wish you could, but if we let on any other people after having said that 6 was the cap, then we'd have to let on every single other person who asks to host! Sorry!

**Lilli:** Stick around, though! Livvy, next Howler! (Livvy snaps her fingers, still reading)

**Howler:** NEXT UP IS JAY COOPER, BROTHER OF JAPAN AND GREATEST NINJA THERE EVER WAS! (explodes, leaving a cloud of dust)

**Felicity:** Where is he?

**Dust Cloud:** I'm right here.

**Everyone:** (jumps) But there's no one there!

**Jay:** (practically materializes out of the dust cloud; he is covered all in black, except for a strand of brown hair sticking out of a black headscarf and grey-ish eyes peeking out from between two strips of fabric) I've been here. I'm just a really great ninja. (everyone eyes him oddly, slightly scared)

**Francesca:** Why is everyone claiming relations to the Hetalia nations?

**Lilli:** Hey, you're a poet and you didn't know it!

**Francesca, Felicity, and Faye:** Oh, Lilli…(all three facepalm)

**Jay:** Oops! (pushes France off a cliff, then looks up innocently) Thought that was a rock.

**Livvykitty:** Nope, just France; it doesn't really matter, though. (grins evilly)

**Jay:** Hey Sealand! Care to go swimming? (snaps, and a pond appears, displacing more of Russia's sunflowers; Russia practically combusts, he's so angry)

**Sealand:** Sure! It's not like I've never been near water before! (jumps in with Jay)

**England:** That's because you're a NAVAL BASE and not a NATION, you dimwit.

**Sealand:** You shut it, you British jerk of jerks!

**Jay:** (from pool) Canada, I recognize you! A REAL ninja wouldn't miss anyone, and of course I'm a real ninja! Oh, and Switzerland? (Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and Nilla have returned from their picnic, chattering happily)

**Switzerland:** Yes?

**Jay:** (sniggering slightly once he sees Switzerland with his little group) When you see my sister Nilla, run. She's a fangirl. (starts laughing openly now)

**Switzerland:** (muttering) And you couldn't have told me this _before_ she kissed me because?...

**Jay:** Okay people! Last one! Japan! (jumps out of the pool and glomps Japan, still dripping wet) Hey big bro. (Japan nearly squeaks at the physical contact) Okay, thanks for letting me stay here people! C'mon, Nilla; let's go home. (takes Nilla's hand and disappears, both waving as they disappear)

**Francesca:** Okay, they were cool. They should come back. Livvy, next Howler! Livvy?...LIVVY!

**Livvy:** Wha? Oh! (snaps fingers and returns to book)

**Howler:** THE NEXT REVIEW IS FROM ITALY LOVER99, WHO NOW WISHES TO BE CALLED EM! NOW ONTO DARES AND SUCH! (combusts)

**Em:** (has been sitting next to Italy silently the whole time) Hi again!

**Everyone:** Hi!

**Em:** I have a truth for Russia! So…not that I know this from experience or anything (cough), but I actually think that a crowbar works better than a lead pipe…how do feel about that?

**Russia:** Normally I just try and win people over with my charm, but I do use the lead pipe if I need to…however, if you're sure that a crowbar works better, I'll have to look into it. (smiles serenely)

**Em:** Trust me, it does! Hey Italy, do you need help making more pasta?

**Italy:** PASTAAAAAA! (starts running around in circles at a million miles an hour)

**Germany:** Wunderbar; now you're got him all riled up again. (goes off to try and calm the Italian down)

**Em:** Okaaaay…now a dare for France! You have to eat England's scones!

**France:** (crying) Why must I? Why does everyone hate me so? I am the country of love!

**England:** (granny positively sadistically) Scones it is! (whips up a concoction and makes 24…somethings) Eat them. And since Em didn't say how many you had to eat, _eat them all_.

**France:** Um…since these are unidentifiable and therefore not technically scones, do I still have to eat them?

**England:** WHAT? You can definitely tell that these are scones, you nitwit!

**Em:** Eat them. Eat them all. (France cries and shoves them in his mouth, practically heaving by the time he's only half finished; runs off to a bathroom that has magically appeared and vomits before running off to grab a bottle of wine and drown out the taste of whatever it was he just ate)

**England:** (fuming) I am going to kill the Frog…

**Em:** Next dare! (smiles sweetly) Oh China? (cuts off ponytail) MINES! (runs off with her prize)

**China:** NOOOOO! (chases after her while trying to hide his shortened hair)

**Lilli:** He actually looks like a guy now…

**Felicity:** I know, right?

**Faye:** CHINA! Stop chasing her long enough for her to finish her review! (China reluctantly stops chasing her, but keeps twitching in anticipation of running her down and taking back his shorn hair)

**Em:** Almost done! This is the last dare! You're all about to meet my friend Daphne! And I dare Prussia to take her on a date since she loves him! Okay bye! (quickly disappears before China can grab her and get his ponytail back; in her place stands Daphne)

**China:** NOOOOOOO!

**Daphne:** Where am I?

**Francesca:** You're in our truth or dare fiction! And as of now, you're going on a date with Prussia!

**Daphne:** WHAT?...oh wait, did Em put you up to this?

**Felicity:** Yep.

**Daphne:** Sigh…oh well, Prussia, we don't want to argue with Em or she'll bring out her crowbar, and I have a hard enough time protecting you from her crowbar and her torture room in her own truth or dare fic, so I might as well keep you safe in this one by following her orders.

**Prussia:** You could not get enough of the awesome me in one fanfiction; you had to follow me into another! But fear not! I will take you on this date! (shudders at the thought of Em's torture room and crowbar; both Prussia and Daphne head off on their date)

**Faye:** Livvy! Time for the next dare! (Livvy snaps fingers, still totally absorbed in her book)

**Howler:** THIS REVIEW IS FROM LIVVYKITTY! DON'T SHOOT ME! (explodes)

**Lilli:** Speaking of Livvykitty, where is she?

**Livvykitty:** (comes whizzing across the field) HI GUYS! I HAD LOTS OF SUGAR AND I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY HYPER! AND I'M PROBABLY SUGAR HIGH! (keeps rambling on in a loud voice)

**Felicity:** America and England: you two are horrible parents for letting your kid get this hyper.

**America:** She should be able to do whatever she wants!

**England:** America! That is now how you raise a child!

**America:** She's not a kid anymore!

**England:** But she is still under our guidance and we are still responsible for her! (continues arguing with America)

**Livvykitty:** HEY HEY HEY RUSSIA! (putting rainbow stickers on him) ARE WE GONNA DIE? ARE WE GONNA DIE?

**Russia:** First my sunflowers, and now this! _Kolkolkol_…(whips out lead pipe and smacks her over the head with it; Livvykitty promptly falls unconscious)

**Faye:** NO HURTING THE HOSTESSES! (snaps fingers and Livvykitty wakes up as though nothing has happened)

**Livvykitty:** Hey Germany? Did you speak to the weasel? Did you speak to the weasel?

**Germany:** Um…no?

**Livvykitty:** Fool! I AM THE WEASEL!

**Francesca:** I think I liked her better when she wasn't so hyper…but this is definitely funny to watch.

**Livvykitty:** (whisper-shouting) Romano! Be quiet! You'll wake the oomu! We need to get to the river so we can be safe from the oomu! And we gotta be sneaky!

**S. Italy:** Are you fucking off your rocker? There is no such thing as an oomu!

**Livvykitty:** NOOOOOO! Run away! Run away! The oomu has awoken! Run into the liquid abyss!

_*Livvykitty snaps her fingers and suddenly everyone is transported underwater, but everyone can breathe; some people start freaking out*_

**Livvykitty:** We'll be safe from the oomu here! Oh, Prussia! Ring ring!

**Prussia:** Hello?

**Livvykitty:** Ring ring!

**Prussia:** Hello?

**Livvykitty:** Ring ring!

**Prussia:** Hello?

**Livvykitty:** Ring ring!

**Prussia:** (finally snaps) WHAT DO YOU WANT? THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS ME DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

**Livvykitty:** (completely ignoring him) Last up is France! Whenever you laugh your French laugh you have to run around in circles and scream, 'French laugh! Run for your virginity!' until you pass out!

**France:** …

**Livvykitty:** (running around in circles now that she's done with her review) SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

**Faye:** D'ya think if we snap our fingers and wish real hard she'll calm down?

**Felicity:** It's worth a try. (She, Faye, Francesca, and Lilli all snap their fingers; nothing happens; Livvykitty is still running around crazily)

**Livvy:** (looks up from her book) HEY YOU! WOULD YOU JUST SHADDUP AND CALM DOWN? I'M TRYING TO READ THIS BOOK! (Livvykitty miraculously calms down) THANK YOU! (returns to book as if nothing happened)

**Lilli:** Okaaay…um, how about for our final review?

**Francesca:** Sounds good! Livvy! (Livvy snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THIS FINAL REVIEW IS FROM DEATH NOTE GAL OF TOMATOES, WHO IS ALSO SUBMITTING AN APPLICATION FOR HOSTESS! (dissolves in a puff of smoke, leaving a coughing girl standing in its place)

**Faye:** (handing her a tissue) Sorry, we'd love to have you as a hostess, but we already said we can't really take on any more.

**DNGoT:** But – but – I know how to keep France under control! (accidentally drops a rocket launcher but quickly picks it back up) THAT WASN'T MINE!

**Felicity:** I think with all the people punishing France, we've pretty much got the situation under control. Thanks, though.

**DNGoT:** Dang it…oh well! Dares up first! I dare everyone to eat England's cooking 'cause I think it's delicious!

**England:** THANK you!

**Lilli:** (crying) Do you hate us that much for not letting you help host?

**DNGoT:** Eat up, people!

_*England whips up a mystery 'feast' that no one is really able to tell the identity of and England refuses to tell on the basis that he believes that everyone should be able to distinguish it; everyone gulps down the 'food' and then 'disposes' of it in different ways…use your imagination on this one*_

**DNGoT:** Next up is America! I dare you to go without hamburgers for three whole chapters!

**America:** (stuffing hamburgers in his face to get rid of the aftertaste of England's cooking) WHAT? Totally not cool, dude!

**Francesca:** Do it or suffer the consequences. (grins evilly)

**DNGoT:** Now I dare France to go without groping someone for an entire chapter! And since this is the last review for this chapter, the dare will start with the next chapter so that more people can benefit!

**France:** But I am the country of love! I must spread love wherever I go!

**DNGoT:** Do it or there will be…consequences. (pulls out a wicked-looking gun)

**France:** (gulps) I-if you s-say so…

**DNGoT:** Last dare! SPAIN! (grabs Spain and hugs him!) You're my favorite, man! But I still have a dare for you; just don't take it personally! You have to say that you don't like tomatoes!

**Spain:** (cries) No! I could never say such a thing!

**England:** (grinning as he pulls out his pirate sword from thin air) Do it. (levels the sword at Spain's face) This sight look familiar?

**Spain:** (scowling heavily) I don't like tomatoes. (thinks for a bit, then lights up) I LOVE TOMATOES!

**DNGoT:** (facepalms) That'll have to do…now to my truths! England, how hard was it to keep up with America when he was young?

**England:** (slides sword back into invisible sheath, and sword disappears) It wasn't actually that hard to keep up with him; I was in my prime during that time period, after all. The only difficulty I had was when it came to tests of strength; even as a little boy, America was immensely strong. (reminiscing about a certain incident with a bison)

**DNGoT:** Awww…next up is France! France, why're you so pervy?

**France:** I am not pervy, I am just overly affectionate! It is the inability of others to accept my love that makes me seem as overbearing and pervy.

**DNGoT:** Uh…I beg to disagree. You're a pervert, through and through. Anyways, next dare! Romano!

**S. Italy:** What?

**DNGoT:** Why do you cuss so much?

**S. Italy:** Because I fucking want to, you fucking jackhead.

**Francesca:** ROMANO WE'VE BEEN OVER THE CUSSING THING YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CUSS BECAUSE OTHERWISE WE'LL HAVE TO GET EARMUFFS FOR LILLI AND LIECHTENSTEIN SO SHUT YOUR TRAP!

**S. Italy:** Fuck off, bitch.

**Felicity:** Okay, the hostesses have a dare for the reviewers! We dare you to dare Romano not to cuss for whatever length of time your heart desires! Okay thanks!

**DNGoT:** Next truth is for America! Hey America, why are you the hero? I'm the hero too, you know…okay, technically I'm a heroine…but still!

**America:** Because I'm totally awesome enough to be a hero! I'm strong and awesome and handsome and I can kick anyone's ass if I need to! And I'm the only hero! There's only room for one hero, and that's me!

**DNGoT:** No way! I'm can be a heroine, too!

**America:** Can not!

**DNGoT:** Okay, I am going to be the mature one and stop this before it turns into a 'can not – can too' battle…LAST TRUTH! Italy! Who do you like best? Also, have you ever hated anyone?

**Italy:** I really like Doitsu because Germany is a really really nice place and the food doesn't suck like English food and even though German tourists and German women are scary, I'd still have to say that Germany is my favorite! Veeee! (glomps Germany, who blushes furiously and tries to remain stoic)

**DNGoT:** (nosebleeding and whisper shouting) That is so freakin' adorable! (talking in a normal voice now) But Italy, do you hate anyone?

**Italy:** I don't hate anyone, I'm just scared of certain people.

**DNGoT:** Well, I'm done. TO DINNER! (disappears in a puff of ninja smoke)

**Livvy:** (slams book shut) I give up; I've read like twenty books now while you all have had your fun, and I STILL haven't found a single thing on how to not make the reviews Howlers!

**Lilli:** Glad to have you back as a full-time hostess!

_*All six hostesses survey the scene before them; the Italy brothers are still dressed in their Mafia get-ups; China has wrapped a headscarf around his head to hide his shortened hair; Italy is still hugging Germany, who has given up trying to pry the Italian off of him; England and France have resumed their fight about Joan of Arc; everyone is still underwater*_

**Faye:** Well this was quite the chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, and keep it up!

**Faye, Lilli, Francesca, Felicity, Livvy, and Livvykitty:** See you in chapter 5!


	5. Chapter 5

_*The setting is once again in Russia's sunflower field; the nations are all lazing around; Italy is sleeping on Germany's lap; France and England are at each other's throats since France tried to hold hands with him; Kumajiro is wrestling with Russia's scarf; the hostesses are nowhere to be seen, save for Livvykitty, who is overseeing the proceedings with an iron fist*_

**Livvykitty:** (checking her watch) I hope they get back soon…

**China:** Where did they go?

_*Lilli, Faye, Livvy, Felicity, and Francesca all come trekking back in combat vests, bandoliers lined with nerf darts, an assortment of enormous nerf guns, and arm bands*_

**Lilli:** (pumps the air with her fist) MISSION SUCCESS!

**Prussia:** What was a success?

**Livvy:** We were just busy saving humanity from the invasion of zombies known as Humans vs. Zombies (A/N: This is a for-real game that I busied myself with as opposed to writing this story; be mad at me, I was having fun :P )

**England:** (looks up from strangling France) …with nerf guns?

**Faye:** (crosses her arms) No appreciation at all. Not cool.

**Francesca:** (snaps fingers and nerf outfits disappear) Well, I think it's high time we resume this truth or dare fic, don't you?

**Felicity:** I agree! Livvy, bring out the next Howler! (Livvy snaps her fingers)

**Howler:** HEY GUYS IT'S STAR-CHAN AGAIN! (poofs away)

**Star-chan:** Hi Canada! I'm back! (glomps Canada, who smiles happily that someone remembers him) And Prussia, you really ARE awesome!

**Prussia:** Well DUH!

**Star-chan:** Time for truths! So England: you and America ARE in a special relationship, right? (surrounds "special relationship" with air-quotes)

**England:** (stuttering and blushing furiously) I – what – we – that idiot – I'm not - … (trails off upon seeing Lilli glaring at him and finishes his sentence in a whisper) I suppose that oaf does mean something to me.

**America:** Dude, seriously? THAT'S SO COOL, BRO!(glomps England, who scowls heavily at him and tries to push him off)

**Star-chan:** But are you two in a special relationship or not?

**France:** Oui, any relationship with Angleterre is _special_.

**England:** NO ONE ASKED YOU, YOU BLOODY FROG! (proceeds to once again try to throttle France)

**Star-chan:** Let's just leave them to what they do best: trying to kill each other. Oh, wait, my next truth was for France…well, he's busy right now, so Italy, you're up!

**Italy:** Veeee!

**Star-chan:** (smirking) So do you see Germany as just a friend?

**Italy:** (wide-eyed) No! Doitsu is more than 'just a friend'! He protects me from big, scary Englishmen and dogs and he lets me keep little kitties around if I want to and he lets me sleep with him in his bed – (Germany, blushing heavily, cuts him off by placing his hand over his mouth, though Italy keeps trying to talk into the hand)

**Star-chan:** Yesssss! Score! GerIta FTW! Oh look, France is available for his truth! (France is now sporting a bloody nose and a ripped shirt, while England has gained a black eye) France, do you think about anything besides groping? And what would you do if some of the nations were girls?

**France:** I most certainly do NOT restrict my thinking to groping! There is so much more that follows –

**Faye:** AAAAANNNNDDDD you are not allowed to dictate what does! We have a fairly young audience here!

**France:** But it would not matter to me if the other nations were female instead of male; as the country of love, it is my mission to spread love wherever I go!

**England:** Oh come now, we all know the Frog has a special fixation for his own gender! That and himself!

**France:** Are you suggesting that I discriminate against women because they are not either myself or another male? I love them just as much as I love men! (tussle once again ensues)

**Star-chan:** I'd say that those two are always at it, but most likely people wouldn't take it in the sense that I want it to be taken…ANYWAYS! WE'RE ON TO DARES! America!

**America:** 'Sup, dude?

**Star-chan:** A dare, that's what! But first I have to make sure it's okay with England…oi, England! Stop trying to kill the Frog and answer this question I have for you!

**England:** Fine, but as soon as I've answered your question, I have some unfinished business that I must attend to, mainly in killing this perverted French bastard.

**Star-chan:** My dare for America is for him to flirt with any nation of his choosing, but I just want to check with you first…

**England:** (eyes bugging out) Absolutely not! America is not allowed to flirt with anyone else!

**Star-chan:** (sensing victory) And why is that?

**England:** (realizing he's backed himself into a wall) W-w-well, i-it's b-beca-ause that-that _git_ would only end up making a fool of himself!

**Star-chan:** Is that so?...Well, America, since England doesn't want you to flirt with the nation of your choosing, I DARE YOU TO FLIRT WITH WHOMEVER YOU WANT!

**England:** But you said you had to make sure it was okay with me!

**Star-chan:** No, I said I had to check with you first. I only wanted him to flirt with someone so long as it _wasn't_ okay with you! (England is nearly apoplectic)

**America:** (looking mischievous) Anyone I want to, right?

**Star-chan:** (looking equally mischievous) _Anyone_.

_*America grins as he looks at all of the nations; England looks furious, Canada looks nervous, France looks hopeful, and most other nations look slightly appalled. America walks past Hungary, winking and trailing a finger through her hair, causing her to nosebleed. He gives France a wide berth, and the blonde nation looks highly disheartened. America then waggles his eyebrows at Japan, who blushes and looks away. He finally passes England and then loops his arms around England's waist as if on a second thought*_

**America:** (in a low, sultry voice) Why, hello there… (pecks England on the cheek)

**England:** G-g-git! What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing? (struggles to get out of America's embrace, but America only holds him all the tighter)

**America:** I'm flirting with the nation of my choice. (England pauses in his struggling)

**England:** But…but I didn't think you'd flirt with _me_…I mean, you could choose _anyone_ here…

**America:** I didn't want to flirt with anyone else. I only want to flirt with you – (is interrupted because England has whirled around and is now kissing the American full on the mouth)

**Lilli:** SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (starts fangirling all over the field; Hungary's nosebleed has intensified)

**Star-chan:** Took 'em long enough…anyways! (looks at England and America, who are still kissing very passionately) In the meantime, we will do my last dare! Everyone! You have to listen to 'Baby' by Justin Bieber!

**Faye:** Aw, _hell no_!

**Lilli:** I second that!

**Livvy:** I third that! (Francesca and Felicity are merely cowering from Star-chan)

**Star-chan:** Oh, I forgot to say that the hostesses can get earplugs if they want to!

**Livvykitty:** Oh, _thank God!_ (snaps fingers and each hostess receives a pair of earplugs)

**Star-chan:** Well, I'm outta here; no need for me to stick around listening to the prettyboy! (disappears in a puff of smoke as the song comes on; immediately some of the nations begin foaming at the mouth as others curl up in the fetal position and begin rocking back and forth on the ground; only America and England are unaffected since they are still making out)

**France:** (hands over ears desperately) Turn it off, _now_! I promise I won't grope any of you for the next three chapters!

**Felicity:** (smiling happily as the earplugs block the music but not the conversation) Nope! Think of this as punishment for all the times you've tried to grope us in the past four chapters! (all the nations groan; finally the song ends, and the nations shakily return to normal; hostesses remove their earplugs)

**Livvy:** Well, I say that it's time for the next dare! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** NEXT UP FOR DARES WE HAVE NILLA MEW MEW AGAIN! (explodes violently in a shower of sparks as if from a firework)

**Nilla:** (dressed in military uniform, cleaning her pistol methodically and purposefully) …that was new…it didn't do that last time I was here…

**Francesca:** It's new for us, too.

**Nilla:** Anyways, I have some dares, people! Romano! (glares pointedly at him)

**S. Italy:** What the fuck do you want _now_?

**Nilla:** (gently blows dust from the tip of the gun) You know you missed me, fratello. And I'd advise you to refrain from cussing. (gives a sadistic grin) Don't forget who beat up who when we were little. (Romano cowers and runs behind Spain)

**Italy:** (completely oblivious to the mood atmosphere) Ciao, sorella!

**Nilla:** Ciao, fratello!

**Faye:** Thank you, _thank you_, _THANK YOU_ for putting Romano in his place! A cookie for you, my dear!

**Nilla:** (happily takes the cookie) You're quite welcome! (turns to Switzerland) Sorry about last time, it's difficult to control my inner fangirl. To make up for that, let's have some target practice. Just you, me, and a dummy dressed up like France.

**Switzerland:** (nods appreciatively) Ja, I like that idea. (France dies a little more on the inside)

**Nilla:** But first, I want to finish up with my review; _then_ we can go and shoot to our hearts' content. England!

**England:** (finally breaks away from America, breathless and disheveled) Yes? (tries to discretely tuck his shirt back in and fix his hair; America is retying his own tie and readjusting his glasses)

**Nilla:** I want some scones! Gimme gimme gimme gimme!

**England:** Finally! A person who appreciates my cooking! (whips up a batch of scones and hands the lumps to Nilla; Nilla bites into one happily, surviving unscathed, and puts the rest in a basket to take with her to target practice)

**Nilla:** Oh Liechtenstein! (pulls out a tiny pink box with a purple satin bow) I have something for you!

**Liechtenstein:** (opens box up to reveal a pearl barrette crafted in the shape of some lilies) Oh, it's beautiful! Danke!

**Nilla:** You're welcome! And last one! Sealand! (runs and gives him a hug) You're cute, too! Mind if I hitch a ride on your COUNTRY sometime?

**England:** Oh, do NOT get him started on that!

**Sealand:** Yes! You can definitely hitch a ride on my COUNTRY sometime!

**Nilla:** Awesome! Thanks so much! Alrighty, Switzy, off to the shooting range! (links arms with Switzerland, who reluctantly allows her to do so, and they walk off to the shooting range)

**Hostesses:** Bye, Nilla!

**Livvy:** And now for our next review! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THE NEXT REVIEW IS FROM SNAKEY, WHO IS COMING BACK AGAIN AFTER LAST CHAPTER! (explodes in one of those fizzing firework thingies)

**Snakey:** Hi guys, I'm back!

**Everyone:** Welcome back!

**Snakey:** Just a quick question: do you actually watch Deadliest Warrior, or did you look it up?

**Francesca:** None of us – Livvykitty excluded since we don't know her personal life – actually watch Deadliest Warrior on a regular basis. But we DID actually watch the episodes for the dares last chapter as opposed to just looking up the results on the web. (France starts getting mopey again at the mention of the Deadliest Warrior episode that he had to watch)

**Snakey:** (slightly disheartened) Well…I guess that's okay…anyways! England?

**England:** Can I help you?

**Snakey:** I suggest you stop talking, because my opinion of you right now is rather low…but you can bring it back up if you start quoting Doctor Who!

**England:** Oh, bloody hell, NOBODY BLINK! (Snakey freaks out and starts looking for a weeping angel, then calms down when there aren't any there)

**Snakey:** Don't bloody do that, England, it's not funny! (England smirks a bit) Anyways, Russia!

**Russia:** Da?

**Snakey:** (smiling sweetly) I _will_ become one with Mother Russia, even though I'm part Russian. I mean, you ARE my favorite nation. (Russia smiles serenely and gives her a sunflower; Snakey squeals)

**Russia:** I'm not such a big, scary nation as everyone makes me out to be, am I?

**Snakey:** (fangirling all over the sunflower) Russia, you're amazing! (notices France crying off to himself; everyone realizes he's still crying over Joan of Arc; Snakey goes over to him) You really loved her, didn't you, France?

**France:** Oui. (sniffling and wiping away a tear, not even trying to be dramatic)

**Snakey:** I'm sorry for you. (hugs him, but keeps a baseball bat – like the kind the Mafia use to break people's knee-caps with – hidden behind her back…just in case; France doesn't even try and grope her, just clings to her like she's a lifeline) Uh…okay, you can let go now… (France just holds her and sobs harder) OI! (whacks France on the head, knocking him out; looks up innocently at everyone else) He wasn't letting go. And this way, he's not missing her right now…What?

**Everyone:** …

**Snakey:** Next up is America! (America cowers from baseball bat) No, I'm not going to hit you with this. I just have a question for you: in WWII, how _could_ you seek help from the Italian Mafia? And before you try and deny it, I saw it on this show called Secret War; it's a show that tells us things that certain governments might try and deny that they did.

**America:** (sighs) You're talking about Lucky Luciano, aren't you? All I can say is that while I am the personification of my nation, I am not the one who calls the shots; that's up to my boss. And before you start blaming my boss, I just have to say that even then, you get people who act independently of authority.

**Snakey:** Ah…right. Sorry about that. Last up, I have a dare for the Italys!

**Italy:** Veeee!

**S. Italy:** If only I could cuss here… (looks frantically over his shoulder in case Nilla pops up)

**Snakey:** How much would it be for you to kill a kid at my bus stop? Because he's called me a certain name that most people would hate to be called or even compared to…

**Italy:** It's not nice to want to kill people!

**S. Italy:** Don't ask my brother about those things, he's useless. I'll look into it; if he has contacts, the price'll be higher. If not, we might just give you a freebie…so long as you leave me alone from truths and/or dares for a couple of chapters…

**Snakey:** All right, I'll leave it to ya! Thanks again for having me, and I'll see ya later!

**Everyone:** Bye! (Snakey twirls, kicking up a cloud of dust; when the dust, Snakey is gone)

**Lilli:** Livvy, next dare! (Livvy snaps her fingers)

**Howler:** WE HAVE A RETURN OF EM AND DAPHNE FROM CHAPTER 4! (shoots into the air and explodes, showering everyone in paper confetti)

**Francesca:** (angrily brushing paper confetti from her shoulders and hair) WHAT IS WITH THESE HOWLERS?

**Em:** HI GUYS, I'M BACK! I'M A HIGH PRIEST VATICAN ASSASIN WARLOCK! Amazing, right?

**Daphne:** …She had chocolate cake…be afraid…

**Faye:** Aw, shit…this is how Lilli gets when she's on a sugar high…

**Em:** (sees a double rainbow appear in the sky) OMG OMG! IT'S A FULL DOUBLE RAINBOW UP IN THE SKY!

**Everyone:** …

**Lilli:** …I don't think the reviewers should be allowed to have sugar before or during their review; remember what happened last chapter with Livvykitty?

**Livvykitty:** What'd I do? I don't remember.

**Faye:** You had lots and lots of sugar…we'll leave it at that.

**Livvykitty:** Pfft, that's nothing! You guys haven't seen _anything_…

**Em:** (oblivious to the exchange) CHINAAAAAAAAA! (tackles China and glues his ponytail from last chapter to his face) WINNING!

**China:** You ass! (runs after her but is having trouble seeing because of the ponytail obstructing his view)

**Francesca:** How'd he get long hair again? (looking at China, who has a ponytail on the back of his head as if he never lost one as well as a ponytail glued to his face)

**Livvy:** I'm pretty sure that one's a wig… (the hostesses start snickering)

**Em:** Hey France!

**France:** (awake again and no longer moping) Oui?

**Em:** I GOT TIGER BLOOD AND ADONIS DNA! TAKE _THAT_! (slices France in half; France momentarily looks shocked before his two halves fall over)

**Felicity:** No killing the nations, even if they are perverted French frogs! (snaps fingers and France returns to normal)

**Daphne:** Okay, Em, I think it's time we go home now… (tries to lead Em away)

**Em:** Oh no you don't! I'm having fun here!

**Daphne:** No, you need to go home now!

**Em:** Oh yeah? How about I tell everyone what you told me about your date with Prussia from the last chapter? (Daphne turns red in the face and stutters; Em resumes running around)

**Lilli:** Is she going to be okay?

**Daphne:** (still blushing and watching her friend) She'll calm down…eventually…

**Em:** Hehehe… (suddenly passes out on Italy's lap)

**Faye:** That was sudden…but now we can move on to the next review! Howler time, Livvy!

**Livvy:** Gotcha! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** NEXT UP IS A NEW REVIEWER, WOLFIE338! (explodes and a sonic wall of air knocks everyone backwards a couple of feet)

**Francesca:** Livvy, I'd ask you to do some research on the Howlers to understand why they're being all weird, but you've already done enough research on them for a lifetime…

**Faye:** (grumbling) Whose idea was it to make the Howler the means of review for this fic out of the five of us? I'm gonna teach her a lesson… (neither Lilli, Francesca, Felicity, or Livvy speak up)

**Wolfie338:** Hey…ummm…hello. You can call me Wolfie. (is a youth with cat ears and a tail) Ignore the tail!

**Lilli:** Will do!

**Wolfie:** First up I have a truth for Germany! (points at Germany) Are you the Holy Roman Empire or not? You'd better be so I can prove my best friend wrong!

**Germany:** I'm not sure…I only know that for as long as I can remember, I've had this one push broom that I've never given away…I've always loved that push broom…

**Wolfie:** (squealing) That's good enough for me! Next up are England and America! So…I'm a big USUK shipper –

**Lilli:** WOLFIE I LOVE YOU! (glomps ecstatically)

**Faye:** …she ships USUK too…

**Wolfie:** (prying Lilli off of her) ANYWAYS! I have a question for the two of you. (points at America and England) Who tops?

**England:** (turning beet red) I – what – that's not an appropriate question!

**America:** Dude, I so totally top! The hero would never bottom!

**England:** You bloody wanker, I can't believe that you just released that information to the public!

**America:** Dude, calm down! It's called _US_UK for a reason! (England proceeds to try to strangle America for being so crude; Wolfie only laughs at them)

**Wolfie:** Oh, just look at them…young love! MOVING ON! France!

**France:** Oui?

**Wolfie:** Can you please teach me French? It's a beautiful language, but I suck at it…and I actually might be part French myself…

**France:** Oui, oui, mademoiselle! Just come this way!

**Wolfie:** Lemme finish up my review first, and THEN you can come to my house later and teach me French!

**France:** That sounds fair.

**Wolfie:** I'm on to dares! First off is Romano! I DARE YOU NOT TO CUSS UNTIL THIS TRUTH OR DARE THING IS OVER!

**Romano:** (grumbling) I am really starting to fu- (finds that he cannot finish the word; his mouth is moving but no sound is coming out)

**Francesca:** Yay! Thank you, Wolfie! A cookie for you, as well!

**Wolfie:** (happily accepts the cookie) Thanks! Next, I dare everyone in this field to become one with Mother Russia!

**Everyone minus Russia:** NOOOOOOOOOO! (Russia is smiling sweetly)

_*Some time later, everyone has finished becoming one with Mother Russia, even Wolfie; some people are extremely pale, others are shaking, and only Russia is the one smiling*_

**Wolfie:** …I forgot to exempt myself from that dare…now I wish I hadn't done it.

**Faye:** (shuddering) We wish you hadn't, either…

**Wolfie:** On a happier note, my _next_ dare is for each hostess to punch their least favorite character…or push them off a cliff, whichever is your fancy.

**Hostesses:** Yes!

_*Faye walks up and punches France; Francesca gets mad since she likes France and goes up and punches England, who is Faye's favorite, and both girls start arguing with each other; Livvykitty also goes up and punches France; Livvy goes up and punches England since she likes Sealand and supports Sealand being a nation; Felicity doesn't punch anyone since she doesn't really hate anyone; Lilli punches both Korea and Spain*_

**Wolfie:** Wait…I thought that Lilli – the one who seemed to be really sweet – wouldn't hate _anyone_!

**Lilli:** Well, I don't like Korea because he has an obsession with moobs, and I don't like Spain because he got my one friend in trouble. (glares at Spain, who is rubbing away a bloody nose) _You_ have a lot to answer for, young man!

**Spain:** I did?

**Lilli:** Well, someone cosplaying you did…but I still don't like you.

**Wolfie:** MOVING ON! Last dare is for Italy! I dare you to let me hug you because you're so awesome and stuff and so damn cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

**Italy:** Veeee! (ecstatically hugs Wolfie)

**Wolfie:** Thanks for letting me review and force the truth – ah, I mean, _dare_ the nations! See ya! (disappears like a hologram)

**Everyone:** Bye, Wolfie! Come back again!

**Lilli:** Livvy, next howler! (Livvy snaps fingers)

**Howler:** FOR OUR NEXT REVIEW WE HAVE ANOTHER NEW REVIEWER: SWIRLY592, WHO WISHES TO BE CALLED MORGAN! (makes an attempt to shoot off like a rocket, but instead accidentally fires straight into the midst of the nations, who frantically scramble out of the way)

**Morgan:** (makes a tent pop up) Hiya! Don't worry, I'm not a host…just a permanent guest. Okay! I have a gift for all the girls present! (brings out a large bag and puts a necklace from within on each hostess and female nation) Aren't they pretty? (smiling sinisterly)

**Lilli:** Absolutely!

**Livvy:** (whispering to Francesca) Why is she smiling like that?...

**Morgan:** Moving on! (brings out a bat and hits Germany with it; Romano starts cheering as Italy starts crying) ¡Tú eres idiota! ¡NO ME GUSTA! Sí, yo hablo Español muy bueno! (…translation… : You are an idiot! I don't like you! Yes, I speak Spanish very well!)

**Germany:** Ow! (rubs his head) That was uncalled for…

**Morgan:** ROMANO! (glomps Romano, who nearly cusses but refrains from doing so for fear of Nilla) I like you! Toccarlo e muori! (…translation again… : Touch it and die; presumably referring to the infamous Italian ahoge…) Man! Italian is fun, too! Ooh, ooh, wait! Before I forget! ENGLAND!

**England:** Can I help you?

**Morgan:** Can I have some fish 'n' chips? It's so tasty!

**England:** (is ecstatic) Absolutely! (rushes off to make some for her)

**America:** Dude, why would you eat chips with fish? Chips go way better with a burger!

**Faye:** And _you're_ not allowed to have a burger for an additional 3 chapters! Let's give a shout-out to Death Note Gal of Tomatoes!

**America:** (grumbling) How about we don't?...

**England:** (comes back with a…platter…of something that vaguely resembles fish 'n' chips) And by the way, THIS is a chip. (holds up a fry)

**America:** Dude, that's not a chip! That's a fry!

**England:** It is so a chip, you bloody wanker! Don't tell me it isn't!

**Morgan:** (wolfs down the fish 'n' chips) Mmmm, that was good! (England is on cloud nine) Hey there, Kitty! (high-fives Livvykitty) I love seeing my friends in other people's stories! And one last thing! (snaps fingers and a small white dragon appears) This is I.C.! She breathes ice.

**Felicity:** Great! We'll use her to guard your tent from France as an extra protection!

**Morgan:** Sounds good! (sneaks up behind Romano, kidnaps him and takes him with her to sit outside her tent)

**Faye:** Alrighty! How about we go on to the next review? Wait, where's Livvykitty?

**Everyone:** (looks around) …She was just here a minute ago…

**Livvy:** Well, she'll be summoned again in a minute; her review's up next in two more Howlers. But anyways… (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THIS REVIEW IS IN RESPONSE TO THE SHOUT-OUT TO DEATH NOTE GAL OF TOMATOES! (explodes into a cloud of glitter)

**Lilli:** SHINY!

**DNGoT:** Hi again!

**Everyone:** Hi!

**DNGoT:** (sniffling) Romano, you meanie! You were actually one of my favorites! Just for that, I dare you not to cuss at any of the girls for the rest of the story!

**Faye:** The dare for our readers was _definitely_ a good idea! Thanks a bunch! (bestows a cookie upon DNGoT)

**DNGoT:** (happily nomming cookie) Next is a dual dare for Prussia and Germany…Prussia, you get to go screw up Germany's house –

**Prussia:** YES! Kesesesesesese!

**DNGoT:** - and Germany, you have to LET him screw up your house!

**Germany:** NEIN! He is not allowed to under any circumstances!

**Francesca:** Nope, it was a dare, and the dare is the law. It will be done!

_*Germany actually cries as suddenly everyone is transported to his – currently – spotless house. Prussia whoops as he brings out tomato sauce from thin air and starts squirting it all over the kitchen. Then he takes some beer and spills it all over the furniture, rug, and television in Germany's sitting room*_

**Germany:** (even more furious) THAT WAS A WASTE OF SOME PERFECTLY GOOD BEER!

_*Prussia continues screwing up the house, pulling out a sharpie and scribbling all over the walls with it. Germany is being restrained by America, England, France, and Russia from going and killing his brother. Then Prussia goes into Germany's office…and finds the paperwork. With a devious grin, Prussia takes file after file from Germany's desk and throws their contents out of the window. Germany is having a mental breakdown while everyone else is lol-ing all over the ground*_

**Prussia:** All done! …wow, I never imagined West's house looking like _this_ before…

**DNGoT:** (watches Germany being eased into a straightjacket) Awesome job, Prussia! Next up is Italy! …technically not, 'cause I don't have any truths or dares for you, so here's some pasta!

**Italy:** Veeee!

**DNGoT:** Next up is Russia! I dare you to give me a piggyback ride! You're so tall, it's so tempting!

**Russia:** Da, and then you will become one with Mother Russia.

**DNGoT:** So that means you'll give me a piggyback ride?

**Russia:** (sighs) Da…

**DNGoT:** WHOO! (latches on to Russia's back, hollering like a cowgirl; piggyback ride finishes)

**Russia:** And now you will become one with Mother Russia. (smiling benignly; Belarus is glaring)

**DNGoT:** Nope! That wasn't part of the dare!

**Russia:** Kolkolkolkol… (purple cloud expands; Belarus puts away her knife)

**DNGoT:** MOVING ON! Iggy, make me some scones!

**England:** I'm happy that these reviewers appreciate my cooking, but I don't run a restaurant here…

**DNGoT:** And in the meantime, I'm hungry! I want a hamburger!

**America:** Not cool! Eating hamburgers in front of me while I can't!

**DNGoT:** (munching happily) I only want the hamburger so I can rub it in your face…but don't worry, once this chapter is done, you only have two more chapters that you can't eat hamburgers for.

**America:** But…but…

**England:** Scones're done. (places a platter of cement-gray lumps – with the consistency of cement – in front of DNGoT; DNGoT gulps down the lumps happily)

**DNGoT:** Delicious! And I don't really have any truths for y'all, so I guess that's it! OH HEY LOOK, ICE CREAM! (ice cream randomly appears)

**Felicity:** You're still hungry?

**DNGoT:** Later, y'allz! (disappears in a puff of smoke)

**Faye:** Livvykitty's still not here yet?

**Francesca:** No…I guess she'll pop up when we summon her Howler?

**Livvy:** I guess so… (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** APOLOGIES FROM LIVVYKITTY FOR LEAVING; HER COUNTRY OF MYLOTTIA HAD SOME DIFFICULTIES AND REQUIRED HER IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. BUT HERE SHE IS RETURNING FOR HER REVIEW! (explodes into several rainbows; in its place stands Livvykitty, who is burned, soaked, and frozen in a few places, as well as having her hair sticking up at weird angles and smoke being exhaled from her mouth and nose)

**Livvykitty:** …That went better than normal…you guys think taking care of a couple of nations at a time is difficult, try taking care of all the personified legendary Pokemon while they still have their powers. Well, that's the duty of the country of Mylottia. Dammit, this hurts!

**Lilli:** But what _is_ Mylottia?

**Livvykitty:** Sorry, forgot to tell you that I am the country of Mylottia, land of magical and fake creatures. Oh, England, Flying Mint Bunny says "hi".

**England:** Such a good fellow…

**America:** Dude, did you hear her? She said FAKE creatures…

**England:** Shut up, you dimwit! Flying Mint Bunny is real! Just because you can't see him doesn't mean he isn't real!

**Livvykitty:** My first dare is for Romano: every time you cuss, you have to throw a tomato at a wall.

**S. Italy:** I DON'T F- (is cut off by the cussing barrier) –LIKE THIS ANYMORE!

**Lilli:** Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of our readers who responded to our desperate request to dare Romano to stop cussing! A cookie for you! (gives a cookie to Livvykitty, who looks like she needs the energy)

**Faye:** And technically that could be counted as cussing, so Romano, looks like you get to throw a tomato at a wall!

**S. Italy and Spain:** NOOOOOOOOOO!

**Livvykitty:** Romano, do it. Otherwise I bring the inhabitants of Mylottia here.

**S. Italy:** (whispering tearily to the tomato that has suddenly appeared in his hand) I'm sorry… (with a wail, draws back his arm and throws the tomato at a brick wall that was summoned for the purpose of the dare; the tomato splatters against the wall; both Spain and Romano break out crying)

**S. Italy:** Why? Why!

**Livvykitty:** Because your cussing was starting to piss off some people. Anyways, next dare is for Spain! I feel random…so I want you to sing your version of 'Like a Boss'.

**Felicity:** Oh God, this is going to be funny…

**Spain:** (wiping away tears) Si…

**Lilli:** OOH OOH WAIT! You should be dressed up like a gangster for this!

**Faye:** Lilli, the song isn't even about _being_ a gangster, it's about being a boss!

**Lilli:** I know that! I just think it would be funny if he was dressed like a gangster for this! (snaps fingers and Spain is decked out in baggy jeans, a t-shirt, an open collared shirt, shades, a sideways baseball cap, and lots and lots of bling)

**Faye:** I am no longer related to you. I disown you.

**Francesca:** Admit it! He looks hilarious like this!

**Livvykitty:** (snickering) He does look quite funny…anyways, enough! Sing for us!

**Spain:** (starts swaggering)

Talk to a corporate (como un jefe)

Approve memos (como un jefe)

Lead a workshop (como un jefe)

Remember birthdays (como un jefe)

Direct workflow (como un jefe)

My own bathroom (como un jefe)

Micromanage (como un jefe)

Promote Synergy (como un jefe)

Hit on Debra (como un jefe)

Get rejected (como un jefe)

Swallow sadness (como un jefe)

Send some faxes (como un jefe)

Call a sex line (como un jefe)

Cry deeply (como un jefe)

Demand a refund (como un jefe)

Eat a bagel (como un jefe)

Harassment lawsuit (como un jefe)

No promotion (como un jefe)

Fifth of vodka (como un jefe)

Shit on Debra's desk (como un jefe)

Buy a gun (como un jefe)

In my mouth (como un jefe)

Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!

Pussy out (como un jefe)

Puke on Debra's desk (como un jefe)

Jump out the window (como un jefe)

Suck a dude's dick (como un jefe)

Score some coke (como un jefe)

Crash my car (como un jefe)

Suck my own dick (como un jefe)

Eat some chicken strips (como un jefe)

Chop my balls off (como un jefe)

Black out in the sewer (como un jefe)

Meet a giant fish (como un jefe)

Fuck its brains out (como un jefe)

Turn into a jet (como un jefe)

Bomb the Russians (como un jefe)

Crash into the sun (como un jefe)

Now I'm dead (como un jefe)!

**Livvykitty:** (clapping) THAT WAS EFFING HILARIOUS!

**Lilli:** And the gangster outfit made it even better! (snaps away the gangster outfit and Spain is back in his normal uniform)

**Faye:** Oi…I think I'm going to get a migraine…

**Livvykitty:** Next dare! Prussia! You have to perform your favorite internet meme!

**Prussia:** Heck yes! I found this one that was almost as awesome as I am! It's about the word "hospital" in several different languages. In Italian, it's "ospidale". In English, of course, it's "hospital". In French, it's "hospital". In Spanish, it's also "hospital". But in German, it's "Krankenhaus"! As in, a house for the kranken!

**Lilli:** I remember when we first learned that word in my German 101 class! We all started laughing because we thought the professor said "cranky house".

**Livvykitty:** German is such an angry language…oh, is Nilla around? (notices Nilla and Switzerland coming back from target practice) Hi Nilla!

**Nilla:** Hi Livvykitty!

**Livvykitty:** My real parents are still Pai and Lettuce. And hopefully my clumsiness is go- (trips over her own feet and faceplants) –aurgh!

**Nilla:** (snickering slightly) Careful there…

**Livvykitty:** (picks herself up and brushes herself off; pulls out her cell phone) I need my phone for my next dare. (dials) Hello, Reshiram? Can you do Mama a favor? Can you get all the Legendaries together and maybe come over and kill France? (France whitens) Thanks, sweetheart. Yes, yes, all hail Mylottia. No, you can't kill Palkia for stealing all your voodoo dolls, Dialga! (hangs up; grins evilly at France) I suggest you run, Frog. (France takes off)

**Francesca:** NO KILLING THE NATIONS! WE STILL NEED THEM FOR THE REST OF THIS TRUTH OR DARE! But near-mortal-wounds are allowed. (a low rumbling in the distance signifies the approach of the Legendaries)

**Felicity:** (pales) Are _we_ going to be safe from the Legendaries? You yourself didn't look all that good after handling them, and you're the freaking _country_ of Mylottia!

**Livvykitty:** (Legendaries are now an approaching dust cloud on the horizon) Umm…we _should_ be safe…but we might want to relocate for a little bit. (snaps fingers, and everyone is once again under water) We should be safe here. Oi…I'm tired. Need sleep! (is asleep before she hits the ground)

**Livvy:** Poor girl…anyways, next dare! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** FOR OUR NEXT DARE WE HAVE VAMPCHICK2010. YOU CAN CALL HER VAMP. (explodes into a million swirling bubbles)

**Vamp:** (not even bothering with a general greeting) DOITSU! (glomps Germany and kisses him full on the mouth) You're my favorite! I'm trying to learn German because of you!

**Lilli:** Ich auch! (translation: Me, too!) I was introduced to Hetalia, I started taking German, and then I found this awesome photo that said "The Beilschmidt Brothers: The REAL reason why the rate of females taking German has increased as of late." It's so totally true! (high-fives Vamp)

**Vamp:** Doitsu, I dare you to kiss Ita-chan on the lips and admit to him that you love him.

**Germany:** (blushes but doesn't protest; walks over to Italy, kneels down and pulls Italy into an embrace) Italien…ich liebe dich. (before he can chicken out, bobs forward and kisses Italy)

**Italy:** DOITSU! (smiling happily and starts talking a million miles an hour in Italian)

**Vamp:** This is so frickin' adorable! But moving on! Prussia!

**Prussia:** (strikes a pose) YOU CALLED FOR THE AWESOME ME?

**Vamp:** You're one of my favs, but your dare is to admit that your brother is more awesome than you.

**Prussia:** WAS? ("was" = what" in German) No way is West more awesome than me! Only Gilbird comes even a _little_ bit close in awesomeness!

**Felicity:** Hence why your dare is to admit that Germany is more awesome than you are.

**Livvy:** Do it…or else…

**Prussia:** (scowling) West is more awesome than I am. There. Happy?

**Vamp:** Like I said, you're still one of my favs! (hugs Prussia, who only scowls at her) Next dare is for Iggy!

**England:** Don't call me that bloody name!

**Vamp:** But it's so frickin' hilarious! Anyways, I dare you to make me some fish 'n' chips! (England perks up a bit and goes off to make some)

**America:** You mean fish 'n' _fries_…

**Vamp:** This next dare couldn'tve had more perfect timing…why are you always acting like some hyper and annoying child? (smacks America on the back of the head)

**America:** Ow! Dude, not cool, bro!

**England:** (coming back with food) It's because he _is_ a hyper and annoying child…as a matter of fact, he's one of the younger nations present here. Not quite the youngest, but close enough.

**Vamp:** FOOD! (digs in to the…"fish 'n' chips", for lack of a better description)

**Livvy:** We should run a psychological unit for our reviewers. There seems to be an astonishingly alarming number of reviewers who actually _like_ England's cooking.

**Francesca:** Good idea…

**Vamp:** Next dare is for Romano! Lovi-chan!

**S. Italy:** DON'T F-(cut off by cussing barrier) CALL ME THAT!

**Felicity:** ROMANO! TOMATO! (Nilla suddenly appears and looms threateningly over him)

**S. Italy:** (whimpering) Why? Just…why? (wailing again as he throws a tomato against the wall that appeared next to him)

**Spain:** LOVI! (glomps Romano, who doesn't even try and push him away) I think it would be better if you stopped cussing; otherwise, all these wonderful tomatoes will be wasted!

**S. Italy:** (sniffling) You're right…(Nilla disappears)

**Vamp:** Lovi-chan! You have to make out with Spain!

**S. Italy:** (eyes bugging out, but he refrains from cussing) Why do you want me to kiss the tomato – (almost says 'bastard', but stops) - …freak?

**Vamp:** Because SpainxSouthItaly is hot!

**Spain:** LOVI! (doesn't even wait for Romano to kiss him; he goes ahead and kisses Romano; Romano turns red in the face but doesn't push him away)

**Vamp:** Alrighty, folks, that's it! Thanks for letting me be in this fic! Vamp out. (disappears in a swirl of bubbles)

**Livvykitty:** (wakes up suddenly) FRANCE! (bolts into a sitting position, head whipping around frantically) …I had a nightmare that France was after me.

**Faye:** Don't worry, he's still being chased by the Legendaries…by the way, do you think they've caught up with him yet?

**Livvykitty:** (shrugs) Dunno. I figure Reshiram'll call me when they're all done.

**Livvy:** We'll just keep him up on the surface until he gets summoned for a dare, and then Livvykitty can send the Legendaries back to Mylottia. Until then, he can stay up there. (Francesca is fuming since France is one of her favorites)

**Lilli:** How about we summon our next Howler in the meantime?

**Livvy:** Sounds good! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** OUR NEXT REVIEWER IS SPAINXROMANO! (tries to explode into a firework, but fizzes out because of the water)

**Francesca:** Well that was a fail…

**S. Italy:** WHAT IS WITH ALL THE SPAINXMYSELF SHIPPERS?

**SxR:** Hi guys! Thanks for having me! First dare is for Spain! I dare you to kiss Romano and tell him you love him!

**Spain:** LOVI! Te amo, Lovino! (grabs him and kisses him dramatically)

**S. Italy:** Get _off_, tomato b – (stops himself in time) – freak!

**SxR:** Next dare is for Romano!

**S. Italy:** If you ask me to kiss him, I am going to start cussing; screw throwing a tomato against the wall!

**SxR:** Nope, not that; but I _am_ daring you to not cuss for the rest of this fic! Otherwise, you'll have to eat England's cooking FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

**England:** (eyebrows furrowing) That's not such a bad thing!

**S. Italy:** (realizing that he's getting more and more restricted) WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

**Everyone:** …uh…you were cussing…

**SxR:** Next dare is for France! …where is he?

**Livvykitty:** He's currently being chased by all the Legendary Pokemon. But I guess we have to bring him back for this, don't we? (snaps fingers and France appears; France is charred on his left side, clawed on his front, dripping water on his back, frozen on his right side, smoking slightly, and his hair sticking up and frizzing with electricity)

**Faye:** …how is he sparking electricity _under water_?

**Livvykitty:** (quite happy with her work) Who knows? Who cares? (pulls out cell) Yes, Reshiram? It's time for all of you to go back to Mylottia now. Yes, yes, if you go there'll be a party for you all. _No_, Dialga, you _still_ are NOT allowed to kill Palkia! (hangs up) All right, SxR, you can do your dare for France now!

**SxR:** France, you have to apologize to everyone you groped and NEVER GROPE THEM AGAIN. Otherwise, you will be thrown off a cliff. 'Cause there are even cliffs under water. (grins evilly)

**France:** (crying) I'm sorry, everyone.

**SxR:** He groped _everyone_?

**Everyone:** Yep…multiple times.

**SxR:** (shuddering) Ugh…anyways, now on to truths! Technically this one isn't a truth, but Canada! (Canada jumps at someone remembering him) I NOTICE YOU! I love you sooooo much! (hugs him happily) I will _punch anyone_ who asks "What's a Canada?" (hugs again)

**Canada:** (whispering) Thank you. You seem nice.

**SxR:** You're welcome! Hey Italy!

**Italy:** Veeee!

**SxR:** You and Canada – along with Romano and Spain – are my favorite characters! If you ever are in need of some pasta –

**Italy:** PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

**SxR:** - not yet, Italy! Lemme finish first! (Italy quiets down) If you ever want some, I know someone who'll hook you up with some damn good pasta!

**Italy:** Can I have some now please please please please?

**SxR:** Sure! (makes a quick call, then snaps fingers) Here you are! (Italy cries out happily and dives into the mountainous plate of pasta; it is gone in a minute)

**Germany:** Italy, come here. (grabs Italy and starts cleaning him up)

**SxR:** One last thing: Spain and Romano!...you guys make a cute couple! Alright, see y'all! (disappears in a flash of light)

**Felicity:** Before we go on to our next dare, should we go back up to the surface? The Legendaries are all back in Mylottia now, right?

**Livvykitty:** Yeah, they should all be back by now.

**Francesca:** How about we give it one more review before we head back up?

**Livvy:** Sounds good! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** OUR NEXT REVIEW IS FROM LADYKNIGHTS104! (explodes into streamers that drift away on the current)

**Lilli:** I hope that doesn't count as polluting…

**ladyknights:** Yo, wazzup, P. Twila? You remember me? (falls over, gets back up and kisses Prussia) That might freshen up your memory…

**P. Twila:** Hiya, ladyknights!

**ladyknights:** That was one hectic chapter, wasn't it? Come to think of it, we still need to serve the pizza…

**America:** Dude, what is she talking about?

**Faye:** Princess Twila is in ladyknights' truth or dare fanfiction. ladyknights is also referring to her own fanfiction with the pizza.

**Poland:** Like, but there are 5 of you who could be P. Twila. Which one of you is P. Twila?

**Faye, Lilli, Francesca, Livvy, and Felicity:** (all smiling evilly) You'll never know…

**ladyknights:** I have a reaaaaaaaaaaaally long review, so here goes! (clears throat) Russia! I dare you to yell "SPAAAACEEEE" for as long as you can!

**Russia:** Why can I not just yell "vodka"? I like vodka so much better.

**ladyknights:** Because I want to hear you yell "space", that's why! So get ready! Starting…now!

**Russia:** (inhales) – SPACE! (A/N: this website is being stupid and not allowing me to actually type out what I want to type out, so use your imagination a little here and pretend that Russia's shout is going on for a really, really, _really_ long time...)

**ladyknights:** In the meantime, we'll go on to my next dare! (Russia is still yelling) USA! USA! USA! Okay, do the moonwalk and sing "Smooth Criminal"!

**America:** Totally cool, bro! (strips off his bomber jacket, twirls his arms and poses, getting ready; music starts, lights turn down and slowly morph into disco lights as song progresses)

As he came into the window

It was the sound of a crescendo.

He came into her apartment,

He left the bloodstains on the carpet.

She ran underneath the table,

He could see she was unable.

So she ran into the bedroom,

She was struck down, it was her doom!

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay, are you okay, Annie.

Annie, are you okay,

Will you tell us that you're okay,

There's a sign in the window,

That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie,

He came into your apartment,

He left bloodstains on the carpet,

Then you ran into the bedroom,

You were struck down, it was your doom!

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

You've been hit by,

You've been hit by

A smooth criminal.

So they came into the outway,

It was Sunday - what a black day,

Every time I tried to find him,

He's leaving no clues left behind him,

And he had no way of knowing,

Of the suspect or what to expect,

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

Sounding heartbeats, intimidations.

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

You've been hit by,

You've been hit by

A smooth criminal.

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay, Annie,

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay, are you okay, Annie.

Annie, are you okay,

So, Annie, are you okay,

Are you okay,

You've been hit by,

You've been struck by

A smooth criminal.

Okay, I want everybody to clear the area, right now!

(Heee!)

Annie, are you okay, (I don't know!)

Will you tell us that you're okay, (I don't know!)

There's a sign in the window, (I don't know!)

That he struck you - a crescendo, Annie, (I don't know!)

He came into your apartment, (I don't know!)

Left bloodstains on the carpet, (I don't know why, baby!)

Then you ran into the bedroom, (I don't know!)

You were struck down,

It was your doom, Annie!

Annie, are you okay, (Dad-gone-it, baby!)

Will you tell us that you're okay, (Dad-gone-it, baby!)

There's a sign in the window, (Dad-gone-it, baby!)

That he struck you - a crescendo, Annie, (Hoo! Hoo!)

He came into your apartment, (Dad-gone-it!)

Left bloodstains on the carpet, (Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!)

Then you ran into the bedroom, (Dad-gone-it!)

You were struck down,

It was your doom, Annie!

Ow!

(America holds the MJ pose; everyone applauds; Russia finished saying "space" half-way through the song to watch America)

You know, I was actually one of the back-up dancers for that? They always have to do my make-up different every time I help out with that kind of stuff so that I don't get recognized from video to video, but I was there!

**ladyknights:** That is so totally awesome! Next dare is for China! I dare you to pants someone! Oh, but not America or Canada…

**China:** This is…new…aru. (looks around; sneaks up behind Prussia and pants-s him; Prussia yells and tries to pull them back up, but not before everyone sees that his hot-pink boxers have little yellow chicks all over them)

**ladyknights:** Hahaha YES! And China, you're up again! (whispers something in China's ear; China grins and walks over to England and kicks him in the balls)

**England:** (groaning) What was that for, wanker?

**China:** ladyknights said to me to kick you in the balls…she thinks you're an ass.

**ladyknights:** Next up is Germany! You have to admit to Italy that you love him – as if you already haven't – and then kiss him…tongue included.

**Francesca:** Germany's already admitted to Italy that he loves him, so he can just skip ahead to the French-kissing part.

**Faye:** Lilli, you're not allowed to see this…(turns Lilli's head away as Switzerland turns away Liechtenstein's head; France perks up eagerly and watches intently)

**Germany:** Again? (takes Italy's head and begins French-kissing him; kiss goes on and on)

**ladyknights:** …I guess we'll just leave them to it…(Germany has begun to walk Italy backwards to back him up to a coral reef, still kissing him) My next dare was for Italy, but I'll come back to him. Next up, England! You have to give Russia a piggyback ride for the next three chapters! Why? 'Cause I don't like you and I figure Russia's heavy…or heavier than some…

**England:** You are never allowed to visit my country after this, you hear? (huffs and picks up Russia; Russia merely smiles)

**Russia:** England, does this mean that you want to become one with me?

**England:** NO, you wanker! I'm being dared to do this! (starting to huff since England is small and Russia is big)

**ladyknights:** Good luck, England! You've just got three more chapters! WHOA! WHOA! (interrupts Germany and Italy, the former who was beginning to undress the latter) THIS DARE IS ONLY RATED T, SO THE CLOTHES STAY _ON_! (Germany smiles sheepishly and helps the Italian put his coat and tie back on) Okay, Italy, you can do your dare now! I want to see your reaction to this sentence that I randomly looked up: "Devi baciare la Germania e gli sussurro che ha un 'pasta grande' e si che dovete fare è."

**Italy:** Veeee! (glomps Germany, kisses him, then whispers something in his ear; Germany flushes an extremely vibrant shade of red)

**Faye:** Just a reminder, KEEP THE DARES TO A T!

**ladyknights:** That was T! Here, I even dared Romano to translate it for you!

**Faye:** I don't need Romano, I speak Italian myself!

**ladyknights:** Well, I still dare him to tell everyone else what it means!

**S. Italy:** (muttering) I still don't see what my brother sees in the potato ba – (nearly cusses but once again stops himself) – freak…(speaking in a normal voice) "You have to kiss Germany and whisper to him that he has a 'big dough' and yes, you have to do it." (several nations start nosebleeding, Hungary especially)

**ladyknights:** Next up! France! You have to act normal for the rest of the chapter! And by normal, I mean not pervy…

**France:** (weeping) Why must you do this to me?

**ladyknights:** (ignoring his pleas) Hmmm…ooh, I know! (hugs Canada) There we go! All right! Next up is Japan! I ship Giripan, so I dare you to make out with Greece!

**Japan:** H-h-hai…(trembling; goes over to Greece, kisses him, and then promptly sits down on the ground and curls into the fetal position)

**Livvy:** (sympathetic) Poor Japan's not used to the physical contact…

**ladyknights:** Next dare is for Greece! Greece, you have to watch Nyan Cat! (snaps fingers and a computer appears; Greece sits in front of it; is immediately mesmerized by the magical rainbow-trailing cat; watching intently, as if ready to pounce at any moment)

**Francesca:** Would you like to move on to another dare while Greece is busy?

**ladyknights:** Actually, I'm all done with my dares…but I still have some truths left!

**Faye:** Jeez, your review is really long! Just a reminder to all of our readers: please, please, _please_ try and keep the total of truths and dares per review to a max of five! It makes it easier for us authoresses and helps to keep the chapters shorter!

**ladyknights:** My first truth is for America! Out of curiosity, do you have any scar on your body from 9.11, and if so, where is it?

**America:** Yeah, I have a scar here on the back of my neck. (flips down the collar of his bomber jacket for everyone to see a fairly fresh slash on the back of his neck)

**Felicity:** Why does it look so new? 9.11 was over ten years ago now.

**America:** (flipping collar back up) For us nations, it takes longer for certain wounds to heal, especially those that are more of an emotional wound than a physical wound. Like if I were to get a paper-cut, it'd heal almost right away. But for the wounds that involve our nation and not our actual bodies, those wounds take longer to heal. The lingering of emotions from those experiences also make the wound take longer to heal. So for this, not only has it taken my people a long time to heal, but the war in Iraq has also kept the emotions running high.

**Francesca:** (nodding) That makes sense.

**ladyknights:** On to my next truth! England! You're up! Why do you hate France so much? I mean, he was kindof like a big brother to you back in those days…

**England:** (huffing from having to carry Russia) That bloody Frog has tried to get into my trousers on too many occasions for us to actually coexist peaceably. And just because he was like an older sibling doesn't mean that I owe him any love or loyalty; he certainly wasn't the world's best older brother.

**France:** Angleterre, I am wounded! (dramatically places his hand against his forehead)

**ladyknights:** Eh…whatever. Canada! (Canada jerks at being called) Yes, I see you! Are you afraid of your brother? If so, why?

**Canada:** (whispering) I'm not afraid of my brother on most occasions. He may be overly loud, but he's actually a nice person.

**America:** Dude, you're so cool, bro! (glomps Canada, who blushes)

**Lilli:** D'aw, brotherly love! (squeeing)

**ladyknights:** …you sure it's not just plain-old love?

**Lilli:** (frowning) No incest allowed! (crosses arms and pouts)

**ladyknights:** Whatever…alright! Japan! I don't blame you for not wanting to come out of your room to see France…I really do, but did he really have a kitty?

**Japan:** My sources tell me that France did _not_, in fact, have a cat. I assume that the cat story was just a ploy to catch me unawares and perhaps – er…(Japan blushes, stammering, and is unable to continue)

**ladyknights:** …dude, you can say it. We won't judge you.

**Japan:** Nevermind…

**ladyknights:** Why is it that we can never get a straight answer out of Japan? Anyways, moving on! Greece! Why do you always have cats around you? Are you like a cat magnet or something, or is it just your calm nature?

**Greece:** Are you implying that there is something wrong with always having a cat around? They're cute and sweet and fluffy and they keep you company!

**ladyknights:** …but you _always_ have at least one cat with you! Anyways, one more coming your way! Could you please read one of my Giripan fics? I recommend 'A Stormy Night Romance'.

**Greece:** …you all have no idea how weird it is to read stories about you…but yes, I will read this. (goes back to computer and pulls up story to start reading)

**ladyknights:** Thank you! See y'all later, and see you in my fic, P. Twila! (waves and throws a powder down at her feet, disappearing in a cloud littered with sparks; everyone is also immediately transported back to the surface since the threat of the Legendaries is now sure to be over; Lilli snaps her fingers so that the once-charred field is now covered with pretty sunflowers)

**England:** Christ! (coughing from the smoke as well as the effort of carrying Russia)

**America:** Hey there, old man, it looks as if you're in need of a hero! (grabs Russia and gives him a piggyback ride in place of England carrying Russia; Russia doesn't care who's carrying him)

**England:** (wheezing) I…do _not_…need…a hero…America!

**America:** Don't worry, dude! The awesome hero me is here to save you!

**Livvy:** How about I just bring in our next Howler, hmm? (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THE NEXT REVIEW IS FROM FANGIRLZ, WHO IS BETTER KNOWN AS GRACE-NICHAN! (explodes into tons of bubbles that float away on the breeze; several people begin trying to pop them)

**Grace:** (dressed in a union-jack top) Hi everyone! Like, EnglandxAmerica is THE BEST PAIRING EVER –

**Lilli:** I LOVE YOU, TOO! (glomps Grace)

**Grace:** (pointing to Lilli as Lilli hugs her) She a fangirl?

**Faye:** Of USUK? You better believe it…

**Grace:** Whoo, girl! (high-fives Lilli, then continues with dare) England, I dare you to admit that you have special feelings for America!

**England:** (grumbling) Considering the git has already admitted that we are in a relationship, I see no that no additional damage can be done in admitting myself that he and I have a special relationship.

**Grace:** Aha! (pulls out a frying pan and whacks France over the head with it; France immediately falls, unconscious) By the way, I'm also a Hungary fangirl. High-five, girl! (high-fives Hungary) Next one's a truth! Canada! Firstly, I think you're immense and I've never forgotten you and second – don't take me personally – but who do you _like like_?

**Canada:** (blushing and whispering) Well…I do like France a lot…(hides his face in Kumajiro's fur)

**Kumajiro:** Who're you?

**Canada:** I'm Canada. (SxR randomly appears for a moment and punches Kumajiro for asking what a Canada was)

**Grace:** Next up are England and America again! Can I have a hug from both of you?

**England:** Alright. (hugs Grace)

**America:** You can hug me; I just can't hug you since I'm carrying the commie here. (Grace hugs America)

**Grace:** Oh, by the way, where's northern Ireland? (Northern Ireland randomly appears) Here! Have a leprechaun! (Northern Ireland disappears again) Last dare is for France! I'm not going to punish you, but you have to go without groping until I say your name five times! All right people, that's it! See ya later! (shoots off into the sky, leaving a rainbow in her wake)

**France:** (looking forlorn) If she leaves, how is she supposed to say my name five times so that I can begin groping people again?

**Faye:** Uh…I think that was the _whole point_ of that dare, France…but anyways, Livvy! Next Howler! (Livvy snaps fingers)

**Howler:** (whisper-shouting) THE NEXT DARE IS FROM FLUTEOWRITE, WHO IS HERE IN CONJUNCTION WITH GRACE-NICHAN BEING HERE! (quietly poofs away in a small cloud of ash)

**Francesca:** Where is Fluteorwrite?

**Fluteorwrite:** (appears behind Canada, random ahoge sticking from head; is whispering) That's right. I'm only here because of fangirlz. But I have a review to complete. America, why do you start a lot of wars?

**America:** I know they say that war isn't always the answer, but it certainly does work a lot! And besides, I'm totally awesome like that!

**Faye:** (smacks America) You idiot. Not all Americans think like that.

**Fluteorwrite:** (still whispering) Okay…Canada, I'm Canadian, so I always notice you. May I please hug you? (both people awkwardly hug each other and pull away, blushing) Now, England? I love your cooking. (glaring at America, but still talking quietly) Can I have a scone?

**England:** Maybe I should start charging for meals…but I'm certainly glad that people are _finally_ getting the right idea of me! (whips up a batch of…"scones")

**America:** (critically eyeing the "scones") Dude, your last batch looked more like scones than these do.

**England:** You bloody wanker! How dare you say something like that! (Whips off apron and tries to hit America with it, chasing America as America runs away while still carrying Russia; Russia just smiles throughout it all)

**Fluteorwrite:** (still whispering) France...je suis dans l'immersion Française…la seule chose est que c'est la Française Quecebois que j'ai appris. (hugs France; France tries to grab the ahoge) EEEEP! NON! Stupide pervers! (translation since some of us don't speak French: I'm in French immersion…the only thing is, is that I learnt Quebec French. EEEEP! No! Stupid pervert!) (runs back behind Canada)

**Livvy:** Does that count as groping?

**Livvykitty:** (grinning evilly) Yes.

**Francesca:** No!

**Faye:** We'll let this one go since it's borderline, but any more from you, France, and we call back the Legendaries. (France pales)

**Fluteorwrite:** (catches sight of Hungary) Hungary…you're one of my favorites! (runs over to her and kisses both cheeks, giggling; runs back to Canada and hugs him once more, still whispering) Bye, everyone. (fades away slowly)

**Everyone:** Bye!

**Francesca:** Alright, time for the next Howler!

**Faye:** Oi, how many more do we _have_?

**Livvy:** Just one more after this one! (snaps fingers)

**Howler:** THIS LAST REVIEW IS FROM NARUTOLOVER6661! (shoots off into the sky in a full-out fireworks show)

**Lilli:** I think that's what was supposed to happen the other times, too…the other times were either faulty or just plain weird. _This_ is the culmination!

**NL6661:** (singing) Draw a circle, that's the Earth! Draw a circle, that's the Earth! Draw a circle, that's the Earth! I am Hetalia! Hi, guys! I'm here for a review! AMERICAAAAAAAA! (glomps and starts nuzzling America, who miraculously doesn't drop Russia) Will you be my big brother? (makes an irresistible face complete with puppy-dog eyes)

**America:** Sure, dude! The hero is so up for this!

**NL6661:** Yay! (resumes nuzzling him) My first dare is for Canada! (is still nuzzling America) I dare you to talk smack to someone!

**Canada:** (blushing; turns to Kumajiro) Kumajiro! You suck, man! I cannot _believe_ that you never remember my name! That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard! (the entire rant was whispered; when finished, Canada drops Kumajiro and runs and hides)

**Kumajiro:** Who was that? (SxR momentarily returns and punches Kumajiro again for asking what a Canada was)

**NL6661:** Now a dare for Miss Hungary, whom I admire! I dare you to put Italy in a dress!

**Hungary:** Absolutely! I kept his little green dress all these years just in case! (grabs Italy and takes him behind a folding screen to put him in the dress)

**Germany:** Why is she putting him in a dress? He's a boy, for heaven's sake, not a girl! (Italy comes back out in his old maid outfit; Germany stops talking and looks at him in wonder) I-i-italy?...

**Italy:** Germany! (runs over and hugs Germany; Germany is having trouble focusing and looks as though he is having flashbacks)

**NL6661:** I wonder if he's finally remembering that he was the Holy Roman Empire…anyways! Who should I victimize next?...I know! America! I dare you – and anyone else who wants to – to try these brownies I made! They were baked with LOVE! (passes around brownies to the hostesses and Hetalia characters)

**America:** Dude, these are good! They almost make up for the fact that I can't eat burgers for another two chapters!

**NL6661:** Last dare! I dare everyone to dance Caramelldansen with me!

**Lilli:** Sounds good!

**Faye:** WE DID IT!

**Felicity:** Finally!

**Francesca:** Jeezum, 26 Word Document pages!

**Livvy:** See you all in chapter 6! (everyone begins dancing the Caramelldansen in the field of sunflowers)


End file.
